When Gautam Buddha himself became enlightened, a man came to him. He could not trust his eyes -- such grace, such feminine grace, such beauty! He asked the Buddha, "Who are you? Ate you a god who has descended from heaven? I have never seen such beauty, such other-worldly beauty, such unearthly beauty."
And Buddha said, "No, I am not a god."
Then the man said, "Then who are you? Are you a saint?"
And Buddha said, "No, I am not a saint."
The man was puzzled. He said, "Then who are you?"
And Buddha said such a profound thing. He said, "I am aware. I am neither a god nor a saint -- I am just aware."
Buddhahood is even higher than being a god. Buddhahood is very much higher than being a saint. The saint is constantly fighting with his sinner. The saint has not yet come home; he is yet in the battlefield. He is still fighting. The saint cannot relax, the saint cannot go on a holiday. Twenty-four hours he has to keep watch, because all that he has repressed inside is ready; any moment of weakness and it will take over. Sex he has repressed? -- then sex is there waiting, waiting for the right moment when the saint is a little relaxed, not fighting so hard, then it can jump upon him. Greed, anger, jealousy, possessiveness -- all are waiting there. A saint is in a constant state of turmoil. A saint cannot be relaxed. How can a warrior be relaxed? He always has to be watchful; the enemy is always around.
That's why your so-called saints are so tense, afraid of small things -- afraid because they know that if they give a little relaxation, then they will have to give more. They have repressed half of their being. That half of their being is ready to rebel. That half of their being is getting very, very insane within themselves.
A saint lives an almost hysterical life. There is no peace. A saint lives an almost insane life, nightmarish. Whatsoever you repress goes on taking revenge. It comes up again and again, and with vengeance.
Buddha is right when he says, "I am not a saint." And Buddha says, "I am not a god either." Why? Because a god is one who is still hankering for pleasure. Remember, the ultimate goal is not heaven -- not at least in the East.
There are two kinds of religions: heaven-oriented religions -- Christianity, Islam, Judaism. They don't go higher than heaven. Heaven is the goal. Heaven means a state of constant pleasure, joy. It is against hell; it is still part of the duality -- heaven and hell. Hell is all misery and heaven is all pleasure. It is imaginary because you cannot separate misery from pleasure, and you cannot separate pleasure from misery. It is impossible.
To every pleasure clings its counterpart -- misery. It is impossible to separate them because they are not separate. You CANNOT take success away from failure. Failure just follows success. It is like the valley and the mountain. You cannot create mountains without creating valleys, and you cannot create valleys without creating mountains -- they go together. Exactly like that, every pleasure has its misery and every misery has its pleasure. Heaven and hell are imaginary; you cannot separate them. It is impossible.
Just think: if in heaven there is only success, then there will be no pleasure, because there will be nobody who is failing. How can there be pleasure and success when nobody fails? When you cannot fail by the very nature of things, how can you be happy when you succeed? Impossible. The pleasure derived out of success comes from the possibility of failure. If nobody is poor in heaven, then nobody can be rich. The pleasure of being rich is derived from many people around you who are poor, AND the possibility that you can also be poor some day. That very fear gives you pleasure. If all are happy then nobody can be happy.
And if only happiness happens, then sooner or later you will get bored with it. If this heaven of your so-called saints exists anywhere, it will be utterly boring. Just think of your saints sitting in heaven -- how long have they been there? The same pleasure, the same pleasure.... They cannot even have a change just for the sake of a change; they cannot even have that. They must all be hankering to enter hell -- anyhow. They must be hankering to come back to earth. That's what many old scriptures say: that gods hanker to become men again. There are stories that sometimes a few gods enter the world in disguise and become men to have a taste, a different taste.
Buddha proposes a totally new vision. He says: No heaven, no hell. Sinners go to hell, but there has never been a sinner who was perfect. A sinner cannot be perfect. Even sinners have many saintlinesses in them.
You can go and watch criminals. Sometimes it happens that criminals, amongst themselves, are more friendly, more honest than the so-called good citizens, respectable people. You can trust a thief if you give him some money. If he borrows some money from you, you can trust a smuggler, but you cannot trust a politician. The smuggler will fulfill his promise, but not the politician.
There has never been a man who was a perfect criminal, a perfect sinner, so how can you throw a man into hell unless he is a perfect sinner? Something good is always there. Man is a combination of good and bad. And there has never been a perfect saint, cannot be. Impossible.
Then what is the difference between a saint and a sinner? The difference is very simple. The difference is that the sinner represses his saint and the saint represses his sinner. That's why ALL sinners go on desiring how to become saints, and all saints deep down long to become sinners. If you go into your saints' dreams you will be very much puzzled. Their dreams are very sexual, very worldly. And if you go into the dreams of a sinner you will be surprised -- in dream he thinks that he has renounced the world, is meditating, has become a sannyasin, is going to become a Buddha.
Sinners dream beautiful dreams. Dreams are substitutes. Whatsoever you are doing in your day -- and not doing in the day -- will come in the night. A balance has to be created by life. That's why your saints are very much afraid of sleep.
Buddha says, "I am not a saint, I am not a sinner, I am not even a god." Then who are you? Buddha says, "I am just aware. I am awareness.“
- Osho, " Zen: The Path of Paradox, Vol 3, #1 "