You have taken all your energy into your head, you have not left any energy for your sexuality -- because all joy is out of sexuality, let me remind you. When I use the word 'sexuality' I don't just mean genitality. The genital is only one very, very tiny experience and expression of the sexual. The sexual is a very great thing. By sexual I mean whenever your body is alive, sensuous, throbbing, pulsating -- then you are in a sexual state. It may not have anything to do with the genital. For example, when you are dancing you are sexual; a dancer is sexual, the dance energy is sexual energy. It is not genital, you may not be thinking at all about sex, you may have completely forgotten all about sex; in fact, when you forget everything about sex and you are dissolved into any deep participation with your total body, it is sexuality. You may be swimming or running -- running in the morning.
For ten years I used to run eight miles every morning and eight miles every evening -- from I947 to I957. It was a regular thing. And I came to experience many, many things through running. At sixteen miles per day I would have encircled the world seven times in those ten years. After you run the second or third mile a moment comes when things start flowing and you are no longer in the head, you become your body, you are the body. You start functioning as an alive being -- as trees function, as animals function. You become a tiger or a peacock or a wolf. You forget all head. The university is forgotten, the degrees are forgotten, you don't know a thing, you simply are.
In fact, by and by, after three or four miles, you cannot conceive of yourself as a head. Totality arises. Plato is forgotten, Freud has disappeared, all divisions disappear -- because they were on the surface -- and deep down your unity starts asserting itself.
Running against the wind in the early morning when things are fresh and the whole existence is in a new joy, is bathed in a new delight of the new day, and everything is fresh and young, the past has disappeared, everything has come out of deep rest in the night, everything is innocent, primitive -- suddenly even the runner disappears. There is only running. There is no body running, there is only running. And by and by you see that a dance arises with the wind, with the sky, with the sun rays coming, with the trees, with the earth. You are dancing. You start feeling the pulse of the Universe. That is sexual. Swimming in; river is sexual. Copulating is not the only sexual thing; anything where your body pulsates totally. With no inhibitions is sexual.
So when I use the word 'sexual' I mean this experience of totality Genitality is only one of the functions of sexuality. It has become too important because we have forgotten the total function of sexuality. In fact, your so-called mahatmas have made you very, very genital. The whole blame falls on your saints and mahatmas -- they are the culprits, the criminals. They have never told you what real sexuality is.
By and by sexuality has become confined to the genitals; it has become local, it is no longer total. Local genitality is ugly because at the most it can give you a relief; it can never give you orgasm. Ejaculation is not orgasm, all ejaculations are not orgasmic and each orgasm is not a peak experience. Ejaculation is genital, orgasm is sexual and a peak experience is spiritual. When sexuality is confined to the genitals you can have only relief; you simply lose energy, you don't gain anything. It is simply stupid. It is just like the relief that comes out of a good sneeze, not more than that.
It has no orgasm because your total body does not pulsate. You are not in a dance, you don't participate with your whole, it is not holy. It is very partial and the partial can never be orgasmic because orgasm is possible only when the total organism is involved. When you pulsate from your toe to your head, when every fibre of your being pulsates, when all cells of your body dance, when there is a great orchestra inside you, when everything is dancing -- then there is orgasm. But every orgasm is not a peak experience either. When you are pulsating totally inside, it is an orgasm. When your totality participates with the totality of existence it is a peak experience. And people have decided on ejaculation, they have forgotten orgasm and they have completely forgotten the peak experience. They don't know what it is.
And because they cannot attain the higher, they are confined to the lower. When you can attain the higher, when you can attain the better, naturally the lower starts disappearing on its own accord. If you understand me... sex will be transformed, but not sexuality. You will become more sexual. As sex disappears you will become more sexual. Where will sex go? It will become your sexuality. You will become more sensuous. You will live with more intensity, with more flame; you will live like a great wave. These tiny waves will disappear. You will become a storm, you will become a great wind that can shake the trees and the mountains. You will be a tide, a flood. Your candle will burn at both ends together, simultaneously.
And in that moment -- even if you are allowed to live for only one moment, that's more than enough -- you have the taste of eternity.
From Plato to Freud the division has persisted in the minds of the philosophers, pedagogues, politicians, pundits. That division has become almost a reality now. You don't think about your genitals as you -- do you? You start thinking as if they belong to you and you are separate.
There are people who even have names for their genitals. Then the separation is complete. Then you use them as instruments. You are not them, you use them. Division is complete, utterly complete.
You always think about yourself as the head and the whole body is thought of as something separate. Have you ever thought of yourself as the feet, as the hands, as the backbone, as the blood that circulates inside you? No, your identity remains with the head; the head is the king. And who wants to get identified with the slave, the servant -- or even with the queen?
According to this division a great theology has been evolved -- try to understand it. First is head, second is heart, third is the genitals. God has only the first; the second and third don't exist. God has no emotions and no sexuality. This is the definition of God of almost all religions except Zen. Then there is the saint. The saint has the first and the second, not the third. He has reason, intellect, intellectuality, he has emotions, heart, but he has no sexuality. Then comes the ordinary man. He has all three -- first, second and third. Then comes the sinner. He does not have the first -- he has no intelligence, no intellectuality, no reason, no head -- he has only the second and third; emotions and sexuality. And then comes the Devil. He has only the third. The first two are not there -- there is no reason, no emotion, only sexuality. So in the East, particularly in India, the name of the Devil is Kam Deva, the god of sex. Perfectly right.
So this is the theological division: God, only head; Devil, only sex. The sinner is closer to Devil and is bound to go to hell; the saint is closer to God and is bound to go to heaven. And between these two is the poor man who has all the three and has naturally more conflict than any of these other four. When you have three you have more conflict.
This is not a Zen concept. This is Christian, this is Mohammedan, this is Hindu, but this is not Zen. Zen has such a radical understanding about life that about everything Zen brings a fresh understanding. Zen says that God is the whole so God has all the three, yet there is no conflict. All the three are in deep harmony together, dancing hand in hand. They are not warring, they are embracing. And there is a transcendence; because there is no conflict there is a transcendence. In God sex becomes sensuousness. God is sensuous. Sex becomes aliveness; sex becomes fun, joy, play. Emotions become sensitivity, compassion, love. And reason becomes understanding, awareness, meditation.
This is a totally different outlook. Nothing is denied, nothing is excluded. Zen is all-inclusive. It never denies, it never says 'no' to anything; it accepts everything and transforms it into a higher reality. It is very synergic. Zen is a synergic fulfillment. All energies have to meet and become one energy. Nothing should be denied because if you deny something you will be that much less rich.
Just think of a God, a Christian God, who has no sex, who has no emotions. What kind of God will this be? With just intellect he will be very stony. You can worship a computer instead. A computer is what the Christian God is -- just the head. A computer is the magnified head. And sooner or later we will be making more and more and bigger and bigger computers. One day we will make the perfect computer -- he will be exactly what a God has been proposed to be, just the head. The computer has no sensuousness, no sexuality, no emotions. The computer will not cry if somebody dies, the computer will not laugh, the computer will not celebrate if somebody is born and the computer is not going to fall in love -- the computer is not such a fool. A computer is just head, just pure head. Just think of it... your head has been taken out of your body, out of your totality, and goes on pulsating in a mechanical place, being fed by machines. You simply go on thinking and thinking and thinking and nothing else -- that's what God has been.
But not so according to Zen. The universe, the total, is so rich it includes all. God and man -- the difference is not that man has three and God has one, the difference is that man's three are at war and God's three are in harmony.
That's the only difference. You don't know how to put them into an orchestra. The day you know, you are a God. You have all the basic requirements to be a God. It is almost like Sufis say: you have the flour and you have the water and you have the salt and the ghee and the fire is burning and you are sitting there hungry and you don't know how to make chapattis. If you don't know, you should ask one of my sannyasins, Paramahansa. He can make one thoUsand chapattis within hours.
Hunger will not disappear unless you make chapattis. What is a chapatti? It has water, it has flour, it has ghee, it has salt, and it has the fire element in it. Then you can digest it.
Exactly the same is the case with you. You have all that you need to be a God and you are hungry.You have all that is required, nothing is missing, but you don't know how to put it into a synergical fulfillment.
To Zen, spirituality means wholeness; to Zen, holy means wholeness. All has to be included and transformed; all has to be included and transcended. When all is included, there arises an equilibrium. An equilibrium means exactly that -- things are equal. Sex is not the servant, neither is the heart the queen and neither is the reason or the head the king -- no. All are equal. Let me repeat it. Unless you think in terms of equality you will never attain to equilibrium. All are equal. Nobody is a master and nobody is a servant. This is the Zen revolution.
All are masters and all are servants. There are moments when sex is on the throne and there are moments when emotions are on the throne and there are moments when reason is on the throne -- but nobody is a fixed master, it is a rotation. You are a rotating wheel and these three are your spokes. Sometimes one spoke comes up and another spoke goes down but all three support the wheel. This should be the meaning of the Christian trinity and this should be the meaning of the Hindu trimurti, the three faces of God: one God behind with three faces.
Nobody is the king, nobody is the queen and nobody is the servant -- all are masters and all are servants. That means that nobody is a master and nobody is a servant, they are all together; they support each other, they live with each other, there is a great friendship between them. Befriend all your three elements, don't get identified with one, otherwise you start forcing that one to remain on the throne forever. Befriend all the three, respect all the three and remember that you are all the three and yet you are the centre of all of them.
Just think of a triangle: one angle is sexuality, another angle is emotionality, another angle is intellectuality. Just within the triangle is the centre of consciousness -- you. When all these three lead to you, to your consciousness, to your awareness, that is what meditation is. In that harmony, in that fulfillment, you have arrived home.
So remember, nothing should be excluded. Life should be a richness and a balance and a transcendence; life should be a synergic fulfillment. All your parts should be fulfilled. And they can be only fulfilled if they are together and help each other. If they go separately they all remain unfulfilled. That's what has happened -- your head is not fulfilled, your heart is not fulfilled, your sex is not fulfilled. From the bottom to the top you are just nothing but a frustration, an unfulfillment, a discontent, a hunger, a thirst. You go on stumbling in the dark, you go on searching for something that will fulfill you -- but nothing is going to fulfill you unless the harmony arises inside.
And these are the three paths from which to arrive. A few people enter from sex -- that is the path of tantra. A few people enter from the path of devotion -- that is the path of the heart, emotions, BHAKTI yoga. Those who enter from sex follow tantra yoga, those who follow emotions move through BHAKTI yoga, the path of the devotee. And those who enter through the intellect, intelligence, follow the path of knowledge -- gyana yoga. These are the three paths. And all the religions of the world are somehow divided into these three
-Osho, "Zen: The Path of Paradox, Vol 1, #7"