[A sannyasin says: I have a sexual problem... of wishing that no one had ever told me that sex existed. And I feel there's something very wrong with me all the time.... I think before I never allowed myself to look at it. I wanted to pretend I enjoyed it.]

 

 

Something has to be done, mm? Because this is a wrong attitude, and you will unnecessarily create trouble for yourself and will miss many things which are necessary. One has to go beyond sex one day, but the way beyond goes through it, and if you never go into it rightly, it is very difficult to go beyond it. So going through it is part of going beyond. You may have learned some attitude, you may have been conditioned.

 

All over the world somehow, humanity is being corrupted by people -- and the greatest corruption is that everybody is taught to feel guilty about enjoying themselves... as if something is wrong when you are happy. When you are miserable, everything is okay, but when you are happy, something is wrong. So happiness has been crushed and repressed -- and unless you explode into happiness, you miss the whole opportunity of life.

 

Life exists for that -- so that one learns how to be absolutely happy... how to explode in it.

 

And certainly sex brings you the greatest possibility of explosion. It is one of the most natural ways to have a glimpse of samadhi, of deep meditation, of benediction. There are other ways to go into benediction but they are not so natural. Sex is the most natural way -- biologically built-in. It is a gift of God so that any person -- he may be religious, irreligious, Hindu, Mohammedan, may believe God exists, may not believe, be a communist, atheist, whatsoever.... But one thing is naturally there that will give a glimpse of something beyond -- beyond the body, beyond the mind.

 

So three things you have to remember and try. First, when you are making love, be active. If you are inactive this thing will happen easily. When you are active this will not happen so easily. So tell your boyfriend that he has to play the role of a woman and you will play the role of a man. Let it be a game. So let him be more passive and you become more active. When one is more active, the activity is more involved, your energy is more involved -- it is difficult to stop it in the middle. But when you are passive you can stop any time because you are almost out of it. You are just there like a spectator. So become more active, mm? And this is just a temporary measure. Once you have attained to orgasmic experience, then there is no need -- you can start playing your old role of being a woman. This is just temporary. So tell your boy-friend that he has to be the woman, and you have to be the man and be active.

 

And second thing: before you make love, dance together. Let it be a wild dance. Sing loudly, dance, play music if you want to. Have incense in the room. Make it an elaborate ritual... almost religious.

 

People don't move towards love-making in steps. Two persons are sitting, and suddenly they start making love. It is so abrupt -- and it is very abrupt for the woman. For the man it is not so abrupt because man's energy is a different type of energy, and man's sexuality is more local. The woman's sexuality is more total; her whole body has to be involved in it. So unless it is preceded by a foreplay, a woman never goes deeply into it.

 

So first dance, sing, let the energy bubble up, and then be the active partner. And go wild! Don't have any pattern -- go wild. If you want to scream while making love, don't be worried. If you want to sing, don't be worried. If you want to just utter some jibberish, utter it -- that will function like a mantra.

 

And the third thing: every day from the morning to the evening, you have to watch -- in other things also you must be repressing your joy. So it has to be changed altogether. When you are eating, eat joyfully, because everything is interconnected. When you are dancing, joy has to be there. Meditating, be joyful. Talking to a person, be joyful, be radiant, flowing. Walking on the road, be joyful. We don't know how much we are missing. Just an ordinary walk on the road coming to the ashram -- you can enjoy it so tremendously. Who knows? -- there may not be another day again. Tomorrow you may not be able to walk on the road. Tomorrow you may not be there to receive the sun. The wind will be there, but you may not be there. Who knows about tomorrow? So this may be the last day.

 

So always enjoy each moment of it as if it is going to be the last. Take the whole of it, squeeze it completely, don't leave anything in it. Then one lives intensely and passionately. And sex is just a by-product of your total attitude, so you cannot just change your sex -- that is not possible. Everything is interconnected, mm? so you will have to change everything.

 

Eat joyously! Just don't go on eating as if you have to do it so you just stuff the body -- enjoy it! It is a sacrament. Walk -- enjoy it. It is God's gift, and one has to be thankful for it. Talking to somebody, enjoy it.

 

So from this moment start enjoying things also which have nothing to do on the surface with sex, mm? But the total result will be that if you enjoy other things, you will enjoy sex too. If you don't enjoy other things you will not enjoy sex either.

 

This is my observation -- that the attitude towards sex is a very symbolic attitude; it shows everything about your whole life. So you will not be enjoying other things either, or only to a certain extent and then you will be stopping. A man who is afraid of happiness, joy, is always afraid of many things. You will go to a certain extent and then stop.

 

These three things, and report to me after three weeks. Three weeks of wild life, mm? (She laughs) Forget all humanity -- be an animal, pure animal, and then I can make you a human being very easily. But to be an animal one needs to go deep into things.

 

Unless you are a real animal, you cannot become a real human being. And unless you are a real human being, you cannot become a divine being.

 

Everything has a hierarchy: the animal is the base of the temple, humanity is the walls of the temple, and divinity is the roof. So the roof cannot exist without the base. One can have the roof, and if there are no walls, then too it cannot exist. Man is a three storey building: the first storey is animal, the second is human, the third is divine. So you start from the first, from the very beginning -- lay down the foundation stone. Right? Good!

 

-Osho, “The Shadow of the Whip, #15”