Unfortunately, most lovers get married. That is the most unfortunate accident in life.
That destroys the whole beauty; otherwise they would have been Laila and Majnu, Shiri and Farhad, Soni and Mahival -- great lovers of history. But all those great lovers never met, never lived in a one-room apartment in Bombay.
Once two persons are together, then other fragments of their lives are bound to surface. You have to become acquainted with the whole woman you have got; the woman has to become acquainted with the whole man she has got -- and there is the trouble, because then slowly you find that the fragment you love is very small in comparison to the fragments you hate. Now just the color of the hair does not help, nor the face nor the eyes nor the nose -- nothing helps.
In the West, women have been asking me -- -because their love lives are not going well.... Nobody's love life is going well, it simply does not happen. So those poor women were asking if they should get their nose fixed by a plastic surgeon -- because the husband is continuously talking about her nose, that it looks Jewish. And he is so much against Jews -- the moment he sees the nose, all love disappears. The poor woman is ready to fix her nose.
I said, "Don't unnecessarily torture your nose. He will find something else, this is just an excuse. Right now he may become accustomed to this nose, but if you fix it then every time he sees you he will see that this woman has a fixed nose, she is really a Jew behind the nose. It will be very difficult for him to forget this. And the money is going from his pocket to fix your nose. You just leave it as it is."
In fact, for centuries a wrong concept has been prevalent: that lovers should like each other in every possible way. That is absurd. Lovers should make it clear -- "These are the things I don't like." Both should make it clear, that "These are the things I don't like, and these are the things I love." And there is no need to quarrel about it every day because that quarrel is not going to change anything. They have to learn to accept that which they don't like -- a kind of co-existence, a tolerance. This is for the lovers who are not awake.
A conscious love is a totally different thing. It has nothing to do with love as such, it has something to do with meditation, which makes you conscious. And as you become more and more conscious, you become aware of many things. One: that it is not the object of love that is important. It is your loving quality, your lovingness that is important, because you are so full of love you would like to share it. And the sharing has to be unconditional. You cannot say, "I will not share if your nose is Jewish" -- what has sharing to do with noses?
Conscious love changes the whole situation.
Unconscious love is centered on the object of love.
Conscious love is centered in oneself, it is your lovingness.
Unconscious love is always addressed to one person; hence there is always jealousy -- because the other person also knows that unconscious love is always centered on one person, that it cannot be shared. If you start loving somebody else, that means you have stopped loving the first person. That's the jealousy, the continuous fear that your lover may start loving somebody else -- as if love is a quantity.
Conscious love is a quality, not quantity.
-Osho, "Sermons in Stones, #3, Q3"