Question 1:

Osho,

in the last sitting you spoke about the mala, about changing the color of the clothing, about changing the name, and the reasons for these things. why do you wish your own picture to be worn around the neck, especially when you deny being a guru?

 

 

I deny being a guru, but I do not deny your being a disciple. One should never be a guru, but discipleship is something without which nothing is possible. And when there is no guru, then discipleship is something inner -- an inner discipline. Both these words come from the same root. 'Discipleship' means a mind which is ready to seek, search, learn -- a mind which is open and vulnerable. So I deny being a guru, but I do not deny your being a disciple.

 

Another point... the mala with a picture has so many reasons behind it. One, the picture is not mine. Had it been mine, I would have hesitated to put it there. No one would be courageous enough to put his own picture. Everyone would think of putting it there, but no one would put it there. The picture only appears as mine, it is not. No picture of me is possible really. The moment one knows himself, one knows he is something which cannot be depicted, described, framed. I exist as an emptiness which cannot be pictured, which cannot be photographed. That is why I could put the picture there.

 

Two or three things more are to be understood. The more you know that picture, the more you concentrate on it, the more you come in tune with it, then the more you will feel what I am saying. The more you concentrate on it, the more there will not be the first question about the picture. And the moment you remember me, even unknowingly, in a way I am there. But this you will come to experience by and by.

 

So many more reasons are there, but I will not talk about them. This much is enough.

 

Other reasons will be revealed, and it is better that they should not be revealed now.

 

There are things which should not be talked about, because even by talking about them they become superficial. There are things which should remain occult, should remain secret, because they work in secrecy, otherwise they won't work. They are just like roots of a tree: the roots must remain underground, in the dark, unknown to the tree. Only then do they work.

 

So there are occult things which must remain unconscious, underground. You must not know them -- only then do they work, otherwise they will not work. The roots must not be known. They must remain hidden. So there are many things you ask that I will not answer, or I will answer only up to that limit where the hiddenness is not uncovered. The hidden must remain hidden. You will come to know, but only by experience.

 

After three months you will not be able to remain a single moment without the mala. You will feel the difference. But that will be your knowing. It is so great, it cannot remain unfelt. And by and by, as the experience grows deeper and richer, you will not feel the picture there. With your deepening consciousness, the locket will become empty.

 

Everyone will see the picture, but not you. When this happens, then you can communicate with me directly, immediately, without any medium.

 

I am trying in so many ways to convey things without any medium, because there are things which cannot be conveyed through any medium. So I will have to create devices -- this sannyas is a device, this initiation is a device. Those who are initiated will soon become capable of knowing things which cannot be told to others -- of so many secrets, keys, which no one can ordinarily understand unless he has seasoned, ripened through occult training.

 

This is only the beginning; much is to follow. If I feel you are receptive, then much will follow. If I feel you are not receptive, then the beginning will be the end. You will gain much even in the beginning, but not the whole thing. So in many ways I try to know your receptivity.

 

If someone comes, I give him the mala and the picture with it. It is predictable that he should ask, "Why this picture of yours?" This is very predictable. But if he does not ask - - if he simply takes the mala and asks no questions, if he is not curious -- he has given a deeper hint about himself, that things which cannot be questioned can be delivered to him. There are things which cannot be delivered if questioned, because no proof can be given for them, no reasoning can be given for them. There cannot be answers to some questions. They are bare statements of knowing -- with no proofs, with no criteria.

 

So if I see someone who comes to me, and I have given him things about which the ordinary mind is prone to ask questions and he does not ask them, he has proven capable of being given deeper things which should not be questioned. In so many ways, how tethered you are! How much you are tethered to the reasoning part of the mind must be known. I have to know it because the more you are tethered to reason, the less you are capable of knowing the deeper things... because reason is the most superficial part of your being, the most superficial.

 

Although it claims to be the deepest -- and only the superficial claims to be the deep -- reason is the most superficial part of your being. It has something to do, it has some utility, but only utility. If you think of it as a vehicle to go into the unknown, then you will never, never be able to know anything that is worth knowing.

 

So I use so many devices to know you also. And each and everything has so many reasons. For example, the case of a person who resists: someone wrote me a letter fifteen days ago saying, "I can be initiated by you. I want to be initiated by you, but I cannot make you my guru."

 

I am no one's guru, I myself never claim to be a guru -- but to this man I will claim to be a guru. To this man I cannot say "I allow you not to think of me as your guru." He has shown his incapacity so clearly. If you are not a disciple, then I will have to be a guru. If you are a disciple, then I need not be a guru, there is no necessity. But if you insist on your egoistic non-surrender, then I will have to insist on so many things to destroy your ego. I will have to use so many devices to make you egoless.

 

If you are egoless, then I will not use any device. So the problem becomes more puzzling.

 

To one who is ready to be a disciple, I will say, "I am not your guru. It is enough that you are a disciple." But to the one who says, "I will not believe you, I will not take you as my guru," I will insist. Otherwise, this man cannot be initiated. He is coming with a condition, and you cannot be initiated with your conditions.

 

Initiation means that you are ready to surrender, ready to trust; otherwise you need not go through the initiation. The initiation is nothing, this mala is nothing, this robe is nothing.

 

This is only the entrance, now the ways will be darker. There will be things which you have not imagined. You will have to trust, otherwise you cannot take a single step. So it is better to know at the entrance that you are incapable of trust, that any effort to lead you in will be unnecessary and futile.

 

Religion is basically neither believing nor disbelieving. Religion is trusting, it is trust.

 

And whenever there is an unknown to be jumped into, there is no other way. Unless you trust, you cannot know it. And you do not know it now. So what can you do? You can only trust and take the jump. This mala will also help you to create this trust.

 

When I say that if you meditate on the picture the picture will be absent, do not take it on trust. Try it, and it will happen. When I say that when the picture is absent you can communicate with me, do not take it as a trust. Try it. Take it hypothetically and experiment with it. The moment the picture is absent and you can communicate with me, you will be ready for the things which will need your trust. Then you can take further steps with a trusting mind.

 

The more civilization has progressed, the more the ego has become crystallized. The ego is the only barrier, and now it is the greatest barrier. It was not so always.

 

Sariputta came to Buddha. He was one of the most learned men of those times. He questioned many things, he asked many questions, he discussed so many things, then he was initiated. From the moment he was initiated, then continuously for thirty years he was with Buddha. But then he would never ask anything.

 

So someone asked, "Sariputta, you were such a learned man. People say you know even more than Buddha..."as far as information is concerned, he was a Mahapandit, a great scholar. "... When you came, you discussed such deep things, you questioned many things. We were very happy that someone had come who questions Buddha, so that we could come to know many things which might have remained unknown. Through your questions we could know them. But why have you become silent?"

 

Sariputta said, "The moment I was ready to be initiated, I had to stop my questions, because to question anything is absurd. I questioned everything before -- before taking the trust. Now my mind is settled."

 

Sometimes Buddha would say such absurd things, just to find out whether Sariputta would ask again. He said such absurd things that anyone would begin to ask, "What are you saying?" But Sariputta would be silent.

 

Buddha said to him, "Wherever you are, always pay respect to the direction in which I am -- wherever you are." Wherever he was wandering, he would always pay respect in the direction where Buddha was dwelling.

 

Sariputta became an awakened one after Buddha's death. Someone said, "You have become awakened. Now you need not pay respect to anybody. You yourself have become a buddha." Sariputta said, "I could not pay respect before, because I was not awakened and the ego was there. Now I cannot pay respect because I have become awakened. Then when will I pay respect? I could not pay respect before, and even if I paid respect, it was with very great difficulty, and the respect paid with difficulty is no respect. Then I could not pay respect because of the ego. Now you say I should not pay because I have become awakened. Then when will I pay respect?" Sariputta said, "Buddha does not need it, but now is the moment. Before it was impossible."

 

But these were times when trust was easy. Now trust has become quite impossible; that is why religion has become impossible. Religion is bound to be irrational and contradictory.

 

To jump into existence is bound to be irrational, it is a jump from the rational to the irrational. So by and by I will have to make you ready and prepared. Little by little I will make you ready to go into the irrational. Even if I answer you it is not to convince your reason, but just to shatter it. Even if I sometimes appear to be rational, it is only as a beginning. It is only to begin with your mind. If you feel as if I am rational, then your mind is attuned.

 

The moment I see you are attuned, I will push you into the irrational. There is no way except that one is pushed into the irrational. And this is not much. The more you are ready, the more I will put things on you which will look insane in others' eyes. The moment I see that you are ready to be insane, when you are not afraid of others' eyes and others' opinions, even of your own reason you are not afraid, only then can the deeper keys be handed over to you, not before. Otherwise, you will just throw the keys away, you will not be able to appreciate them. You will not be able even to understand that they are keys.

 

So by and by all those who have been initiated into sannyas will have to be ready to go into the irrational. Existence is such, it does not reply to questions. Life is such, it gives no explanations. It is. And all our questions and all our answers are only deceptions. Even scientific answers are deceptions, because they never really answer anything. They only push the question a step back They only go on pushing questions. You become tired, so you do not ask.

 

No question is answerable through answers. Through the existential jump every question is solved, but not through intellect. If you ask a scientist why oxygen and hydrogen combined create water, he will say that it just happens, it is so: "We can say only this -- that it just happens." But why does it happen? No one will go to ask the scientist why oxygen and hydrogen can create water. Why? Why not helium and oxygen? There is no answer.

 

The scientist will say, "We can say only how it happens, not why." But with religion we always ask why. Even science, which claims to be rational, cannot answer why. Religion, which never claims to be rational, is always being asked, "Why?"

 

You ask me, "Why this mala? Why this picture?" I will say, "Use it in this way, and this will happen," and my answer is as scientific as possible. Religion never claims to be rational, the only claim is of being irrational.

 

Use the mala in this way: meditate on the picture, then the picture will not be there. It happens so. Then the absent picture becomes a door. Through that door communicate with me. It happens so. After doing meditation, take this mala off and feel, and then put this mala on and feel, and you will see the difference.

 

Without this mala you will feel totally unprotected, totally in the reins of a force which can be harmful. With this mala on you will feel protected, you will be more confident, settled. Nothing can disturb from the outside. It happens so; you will do the experiment and know. Why it happens cannot even be answered scientifically. And religiously there is no question to answer. Religion never claims, that is why so many rituals of religion become irrelevant.

 

As time passes by, a very meaningful ritual will become meaningless, because keys are lost and no one can say why this ritual exists. Then it becomes just a dead ritual. You cannot do anything with it. You can perform it, but the key is lost. For example, you can go on wearing the mala, and if you do not know that the picture in it is meant for some inner communication, then it will be just a dead weight. Then the key is lost. The mala may be with you, but the key is lost. Then one day or another you will have to throw away the mala because it is useless.

 

The mala is a device for meditation. It is a key. But this will come only through experience. I can only help you toward the experience. And unless it happens, you will not know. But it can happen, it is so easy, it is not difficult at all. When I am alive, it is so easy. When I am not there, it will be very difficult.

 

All these statues that have existed on this earth were used as such devices, but now they are meaningless. Buddha declared that his statue should not be made. But the work that was done by statues still will have to be done. Although the statue is meaningless, the real thing is the work that can be done through it.

 

Those who follow Mahavira can communicate with Mahavira through his statue even today. So what should Buddha's disciples do? That is why the Bodhi tree became so important; it was used instead of Buddha's statue. For five hundred years after Buddha there was no statue. In the Buddhist temples only a picture of the Bodhi tree and two symbolic footprints were kept, but this was sufficient. That still continues. The tree that exists in Bodhgaya is in continuity with the original tree. So still today those who know the key can communicate with Buddha through the Bodhi tree at Bodhgaya. It is not just meaningless that monks from all over the world come to Bodhgaya. But they must know the key, otherwise they will just go and the whole thing will be just a ritual.

 

So these are keys -- particular mantras chanted in a particular way, pronounced in a particular way, emphasized in a particular way with such-and-such frequencies. A wavelength should be created, the waves should be created. Then the Bodhi tree is not just a Bodhi tree; it becomes a passage, it opens a door. Then twenty-five centuries are no more, the time gap is not there. You come face to face with Buddha. But keys are always lost. So this much can be said: use the locket, and you will know much. All that I have said will be known, and more that I have not said will be known also.

 

- Osho, “I Am the Gate, #3”