Question 2

Please explain How it is possible that one can be spiritually transformed by beings total in actions that are of anger, hatred and violence.

 

 

Yes, you can be totally transformed through anger, through hatred, through violence. And there is no other way – because you exist in violence, in anger, in greed, in passion. From where you exist, ONLY from there, does the way start. I will not tell you to create non-greed against your greed; I will tell you to be greedy totally, but with a fully alert mind – to be violent, to be angry, but be total so that you suffer totally, so that you can feel the whole poison of it. You must pass through this fire. No one else can pass for you; no proxy is possible. You will have to pass through it, and you always think that someone else will do it.

 

Christians go on thinking that through Jesus there is salvation. It has not happened yet. The world remains the same. Two thousand years have passed since Jesus was crucified, but we go on hoping that someone else will suffer and we will reach to bliss. No! Everyone has to carry his own cross. Jesus was crucified; he reached the goal. You cannot reach. You will have to pass through that crucifixion yourself. And this is the crucifixion – that anger is there, passion is there, violence is there, greed is there, jealousy is there.

 

What are you doing with them? The society teaches to create the anti pole. Greed is there, so suppress it and create a non-greedy mind. Anger is there, so suppress it. Don’t be angry. Push the energy back and smile. What happens? Anger goes on being accumulated within, and you go on becoming more and more angry, because more and more energy is accumulated within as anger – suppressed. It becomes your unconscious reservoir, and against this anger you go on smiling. That smile becomes false, because while anger is knocking within how can you smile? You can smile, but then it will be just a false thing.

 

So you are divided into two – a false smile and a real anger. The false smile becomes your personality and the real anger remains your soul. You are divided against yourself, and a constant fight will be there. And you cannot be happy with the false smile. No one else is deceived. You cannot be happy with a real anger hidden behind always trying to come out. A false smile and a real anger – this is the situation. All that is good is false and all that is bad is real. The real you carry within and the false you show outside. This is schizophrenic, and every man has become schizophrenic, divided – not only divided, but constantly fighting with himself. The whole life and energy is wasted and dissipated in this fight. And the fight is stupid, but this is happening.

 

What I am suggesting is, don’t create any falsity around you. The false will never lead you to the real; the false will lead you to more that is false. Don’t do the false, and allow the real total expression. When I say this you may become scared, because violence is there and you may want to kill someone. So do I mean to go and kill? No! Meditate on it. Close your room and allow your violence. You can express it on a pillow, on a picture, on anything. There is no need to go and kill someone, because that is not going to help. That will create more problems and a chain.

 

On the pillow, write the name of your enemy or your friend – and remember, we are more angry at our friends than at our enemies. Just put a picture of your wife or husband on a pillow, and bring your violence out. Beat the pillow, kill the pillow, and do whatsoever you feel. And don’t feel that you are doing a stupid thing. This is what you want to do with the real object, and that will be more stupid. Don’t think that this is silly. This is how you are: you are silly, and you cannot change by just repressing it. Look at this silliness: see that this is how you are. Allow yourself full expression; act it out. And if you can be real, you will realize for the first time what anger, what violence is hidden within you. You are a volcano, and this can erupt from you at any moment.

 

In any situation, the volcano may erupt. It is erupting every day. Someone kills someone, and just a day before he was as normal as you. No one ever suspected that he was going to be a murderer. No one suspects about you, and you have so many thoughts in your mind to murder. You have thought, you have planned it many times. The idea to murder someone else or yourself has come to you. It has happened to you if you are not absolutely idiotic. Psychologists say that an intelligent man is bound to think of suicide at least ten times in his life – at least ten times! – and ten thousand times you think to murder someone. You never do it, that is another thing. But you can do it; the possibility is always there.

 

Make your anger a total act in meditation, and then see what happens. You will feel it coming from your whole body. If you allow it, then every cell of your body will be in it. Every pore, every fiber of the body will become violent. Your whole body will be in a mad situation. It will go mad, but allow it, and don’t withhold. Move with the river, and after the cyclone is over, you will feel for the first time a deep center within you. A subtle calmness will happen. When the anger has gone, there will be no repentance because you have not done it to anyone. There will be no guilt. You will be unburdened. When this anger is thrown out and silence comes, that silence is real – not forced.

 

You can sit down like a buddha in PADMASANA, in a yogic posture. You can force yourself, but the monkey within you goes on jumping. Now only the body is static. The mind is more mad than it ever was before. Whenever you sit for meditation, you feel what is happening. You are never so noisy within when you are not meditating, so why does so much noise happen whenever you meditate? Why does the mind go so vagrant? Why do so many thoughts come in a cloud? It is because your body is static, and through this staticness of your body you can feel the monkeyness of the mind more. The contrast is there.

 

But forced silence is of no use. Either you will not succeed in it or if you will succeed you will move into sleep. A forced silence, if successful, becomes sleep. It is good as far as sleep is concerned; otherwise it is useless. A real silence always happens only when some pent-up energy is released totally. The disturbance was because of that pent-up energy. That forced energy was trying to erupt, that was the problem, that was the disturbance within. When it is released, you are unburdened.

 

Then every fiber in your being is relaxed. In that relaxedness you can say that you are in a state of no-anger. It is not against anger; it is simply absence of anger. Remember, the real is always the absence, not the opposite – NOT the opposite! It is always the absence – an absence of greed, an absence of sex, an absence of jealousy – but in that absence, your reality flowers because the diseases have gone. Now your inner health can flower. And once it starts flowering you will not accumulate anger. You accumulate anger only because you are missing yourself.

 

Really, you are not angry at anyone else, you are angry within yourself. But you go on projecting that anger onto others; otherwise you will go mad, so you go on finding excuses. Really, you are angry because you are missing yourself, you are missing your destiny. That which is possible for you is not happening, and that is why you are angry. Nothing is happening to you, and time goes on flowing. Death is coming nearer, and you remain as unfulfilled as ever, and there seems to be no possibility to be fulfilled. Because of this, because you are not realizing your potentialities, because you have not become that which you can become, you are angry, violent. And then you go on finding excuses.

 

You throw your anger on this, on that. Really, it is not a question of anger, and if you make it a question of anger, your diagnosis is wrong. It is a question of self-realization. Why is one violent? Why is one destructive? Because he is angry against himself, against his very being – because he is. And then he feels to be against the whole world.

 

A buddha is silent, non-violent, not because he has practiced it, but because now he has realized himself. Now the flower has come to its total flowering, so nothing is there to release. He is fulfilled. Simple gratefulness to the existence remains. Now there is no complaint; nothing is wrong. When you really flower, everything is okay; all is good. Because of this Buddha couldn’t see problems. All is good! That is why Buddha is not a revolutionary. To be a revolutionary, you must be able to see misery, you must be able to feel the whole mess around, the hell. To be a revolutionary, you must have a feeling that everything is wrong. Only then are you a revolutionary. Buddha was here in this land, Mahavira was here in this land, but they were not revolutionaries. Why? This question arises: why?

 

When one is at ease with oneself, all is good. He cannot be destructive, he can only be creative. His revolution can only be a creative one, and you cannot see anything creative. When someone destroys something, only then does it become news; only then can you see it.

 

A Lenin is seen as a revolutionary, not as a buddha. All over the world now there are revolutionaries, and they go on growing. And the reason? It is because fewer and fewer persons are realizing their potentiality. They are violent and they want to destroy – because if there is no meaning in their lives how can they feel that there can be meaning in others’ lives? A Mahavira is even aware not to kill an insect, not even to kill a mosquito, because he has realized himself. Now he knows what is possible even for a mosquito. A mosquito is not just a mosquito; this is a possibility. An infinite possibility is there: this mosquito can become divine. He cannot destroy it, it is impossible. He can only help. He is only concerned with how to help so that the potential becomes the actual.

 

You are just seeds. A great destiny is hidden, but nothing is being realized. The potential is wasted; the seed remains the seed. You feel anger. The modern generation is much angrier than older generations because there is more awareness of the possibility and less fulfillment. Now the new generation knows what is possible much more than the older generation. This generation is alive to the fact that much is possible. But nothing is happening and nothing is becoming actual, so there is more frustration. If you cannot be creative, at least you can be destructive; you feel your power in being destructive. Anger, violence, are destructive forces. They are there because creativity is not there.

 

Don’t go against them. Rather, help them to be released. Don’t suppress them; allow them to evaporate from you. Then that which you think is opposite is absent. When they have evaporated, you will suddenly realize that silence is there, that love is there, compassion is there. They are not to be cultivated. They are just like a stream hidden in rocks. You remove the rocks and the stream starts flowing. The stream is not against the rocks, not the opposite of the rocks. Just the absence of the rocks, and an opening happens and the stream starts flowing.

 

Love is in you like a stream, anger is in you like a rock. Remove it. But you go on forcing it inside, more inside. Then you are forcing the stream as well to go more inside. Throw this rock. There is no need to hit someone with it. You want to hit someone because you don’t know how to throw it without hitting anyone. That is what I am teaching: to throw it without hitting anyone. There is no need to hit anyone. And if you can throw this rock without hitting anyone, everyone will profit out of it. You may not be throwing it on others’ heads, but it was always there and others feel it.

 

When you are angry, howsoever you suppress it your anger is felt. You vibrate it; around you a subtle sadness happens. Everyone becomes alert that some disease has entered. Everyone wants to leave you; you become repulsive. Your very attitude gives a bad odor to you.

 

You may not be aware, but biochemists say that when someone is in love or in anger or in sex, different odors are released from the body – actually, not metaphorically. When you are in anger, a bad odor is released from your body. When you are in love, the quality is different. In sexual passion, a different odor is released.

 

Animals are attracted by odor – because when the female is ready, a subtle odor is released from her sex glands and the male is attracted. Without that odor the female is not ready. That is why you see dogs smelling: they can smell sex. If you are sexual, you are also releasing a subtle odor. If you are angry, then too – because different chemicals are released in the blood system. Consciously no one may notice, but unconsciously everyone notices it. You are a burden – repulsive, destructive. Throw this poison out of your system.

 

So remember this: it is good to release in the vacuum. And the sky is big enough, it will not return it back to you. It will simply absorb it, and you will be released. So do anything meditatively and totally, even anger, even violence, even sex. It is easy to conceive of how to be angry alone, but you can also create a sexual orgy alone meditatively. And you will have a different quality after that.

 

While all alone, just close your room and move as if in the sex act. Allow your whole body to move. Jump and scream; do whatsoever you feel like doing. Do it totally. Forget everything – societal inhibitions, etcetera. Move in the sex act alone meditatively, but bring your total sexuality to it.

 

With the other, the society is always present because the other is present. And it is so difficult to be in such a deep love that you can feel as if the other is not present. Only in a very deep love, in a very deep intimacy, is it possible to be with your lover or beloved as if he is not or she is not.

 

This is what intimacy means: if you are as if alone with your lover or beloved or your spouse in the room with no fear of the other, then you can move in the sex act totally; otherwise the other is always an inhibiting presence. The other is looking at you: ”What will she think? What will be think? What are you doing? Behaving like an animal?”

 

One lady was here just a few days before. She came to complain against her husband. She said, ”I cannot tolerate it. Whenever he loves me, he starts behaving like an animal.”

 

When the other is present, the other is looking at you: ”What are you doing?” And you have been taught that there are some things which you can do and some things which you are not to do. It inhibits; you cannot move totally.

 

If love is really there, then you can move as if you are alone. And when two bodies become one, they have a single rhythm. Then the two-ness is lost, and sex can be released totally. And it is not like in anger; anger is always ugly, but sex is not always ugly. Sometimes it is the most beautiful thing possible – but only sometimes. When the meeting is perfect, when the two become one rhythm, when their breaths have become one and their PRANA, energy, flows in a circle, when the two have disappeared completely and the two bodies have become one whole, when the negative and positive, the male and female, are no more there, then sex is the most beautiful thing possible. But that is not always the case.

 

If it is not possible, you can bring your sex act to a climax of frenzy and madness while alone, in a meditative mood. Close the room, meditate in it, and allow your body to move as if you are not controlling it. Lose all control!

 

Spouses can be very helpful, and particularly in tantra: your wife, your husband or your friend can be very helpful if you both are experimenting deeply. Then allow each total uncontrol. Forget civilization as if it never existed; move back into the Garden of Eden. Throw that apple – the fruit of the tree of knowledge. Be Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden before they were expelled. Move back! Just be like innocent animals, and act out your sexuality in its totality. You will never be the same again.

 

Two things will happen. Sexuality will disappear. Sex may remain, but sexuality will disappear completely. And when there is no sexuality, sex is divine. When the cerebral hankering is not there, when you are not thinking about it, when it has become a simple involvement – a total act, a movement of your whole being, not only of the mind – it is divine. Sexuality will disappear first, and then sex may also disappear, because once you know the deeper core of it, you can achieve that core without sex.

 

But you have not known that deeper core, so how can you achieve it? The first glimpse comes through total sex. Once known, the path can be traveled in other ways also. Just looking at a flower, you can be in the same ecstasy in which you are when you meet with your spouse in a climax. Just watching the stars, you can move in it.

 

Once you know the path, you know it is within you. The spouse only helps you to know it, and you help your spouse to know it. It is within you! The other was just a provocation. The other was just a challenge to help you know something which was always within you.

 

And this is what is happening between a master and a disciple. The master can become only a challenge to you to show that which has always been hidden in you. The master is not giving you anything. He CANNOT give; there is nothing to give. And all that can be given is worthless because it will only be a thing.

 

That which cannot be given but which can only be provoked is worthwhile. A master is just provoking you. He challenges you to help you to come to a point where you can realize something which is already there. Once you know it, there is no need of a master.

 

Sex may disappear, but first sexuality disappears. Then sex becomes a pure, innocent act; then sex also disappears. Then there is BRAHMACHARYA, celibacy. It is not opposite to sex; it is just its absence. And remember this difference. This is not in your awareness.

 

Old religions go on condemning anger and sex as if both are the same or as if both belong to the same category. They do not! Anger is destructive; sex is creative. All old religions go on condemning them in a similar way, as if anger and sex, greed and sex, jealousy and sex are similar. They are not! Jealousy is destructive – ALWAYS! It is never creative; nothing can come out of it. Anger is always destructive, but not so with sex! Sex is the source of creativity. The divine has used it for creation. Sexuality is just like jealousy, anger and greed: it is always destructive. Sex is not – but we don’t know pure sex, we know only sexuality.

 

A person who is looking at a pornographic picture or one who is going to see a film, a movie of sexual orgies, is not seeking sex; he is seeking sexuality. There are persons I know who cannot make love to their wives unless they first go through some dirty magazines or books or pictures. When they see these pictures, then they are excited. The real wife is nothing to them. A picture, a nude picture, is more exciting to them. That excitement is not in the gut; that excitement is in the mind, in the head.

 

Sex transferred to the head is sexuality; thinking about it is sexuality. Living it is a different thing, and if you can live it you can go beyond it. Anything lived totally leads you beyond. So don’t be afraid of anything. LIVE IT! If you think it is destructive to others, move in it alone, do not do it with others. If you think it is creative, then find a partner, find a friend. Become a couple, a tantric couple, and move in it totally. If you still feel that the other’s presence is inhibiting, then you can do it alone.

 

-Osho, "Vigyan Bhairav Tantra, Vol 2, #6, Q2"