All kinds of things are going on inside the mind. One day just sit down and write whatsoever is coming into the mind. And don’t cheat, just write exactly whatsoever comes in and you will be surprised that this is your mind, this is where you have been living your life from. You will find it absolutely insane.
It is good that we don’t have windows in the head, otherwise other people would look inside and they would be surprised; they would not be able to believe that this is you. YOU also will not be able to believe that this is what your mind is.
But this is the reality. People never look inside. In fact, as if unconsciously, they suspect that if they look inside they will find insanity there. It is better not to look; avoid, keep the mind in the dark and remain occupied with something in the outside world. People keep themselves busy without business for the simple reason that it helps them not to look in. They have become alienated from their own minds.
If you look in, in the beginning of course it is going to be a chaos; but if you start watching the chaos, slowly slowly things start settling and you will be able to see what are the causes and what are the effects. Once you have known the causes, you are on the right track. Many people are fighting with the effects. You can never win, you are bound to lose. Effects are only symptoms. You cannot fight with anger, because it is only an effect — the cause is ego.
You cannot fight with causes either; unless you find that this is the ultimate cause. Anger is an effect; for anger, ego is the cause. But if you go deep down, watching your ego you will be surprised, it is also in its own turn an effect — an effect of unawareness. Unawareness is the cause.
You can go on from anywhere — from greed, from lust, from anger, from jealousy, from possessiveness and you will always come to the ultimate cause: unawareness.
So the only way to get rid of this mess, this chaos, is to be aware. And once you are aware you need not repress anything, you need not even drop; things start dropping on their own, they start disappearing on their own.
That's what Buddha means when he says: LET GO OF ANGER, LET GO OF PRIDE. WHEN YOU ARE BOUND BY NOTHING, YOU GO BEYOND SORROW. And these are the two things which are keeping you tethered in an insane state. These are the two things which are creating all your sorrow and misery. Ego, hidden behind, goes on working, poisoning you. Anger is either expressed, then it poisons your relationships with people, or it is repressed, then it poisons your own being.
And slowly slowly, you find yourself in such a state in which many people would like to die; many people contemplate suicide for the simple reason that life is so painful and death seems to be a relief. Millions of people around the earth contemplate suicide -- many of them try, many of them succeed too. And those who don't contemplate suicide contemplate murder; they think that others are creating their trouble, so destroy others. Either they want to destroy others, or they want to destroy themselves, because they find no joy in life. When you don't find joy in life, when you are not blissful, you become destructive, either a sadist or a masochist.
When your life is full of joy, unbounded joy, it is creative, then great creativity is born in you. Then you do something to contribute to the evolution of humanity, to the evolution of the whole universe. You add some beauty to it, you share your celebration with it. You make at least a few flowers bloom.
You leave the world in great contentment, because creativity brings contentment. You leave this world joyously, because it has been such a beautiful opportunity to grow, to mature, to become aware. It has been such a joy to create a few things and share those things with people; otherwise you live in sorrow and you die in sorrow.
-Osho, “Dhammapada Vol 6, #9”