[A sannyasin says: I don't know what's happening. I feel such fear and I feel as if I can't love.
Osho checks her energy. She then tells him she has problems with relationships and having an orgasm.]
You need satsang with [one of my sannyasins, who] falls in love every day and then forgets all about it; next day she falls in love again. And when she falls she really falls. She is the greatest lover around here!...
Mm mm. Do one thing.... You are paying too much attention to orgasm; that is not needed at all. Simply drop the idea of orgasm for three months. Let love be more playful, rather than purposive. When you think of orgasm it becomes a purpose, it is more businesslike and then orgasm becomes difficult. This is the dilemma: if you are after orgasm it becomes difficult because you are looking out for it, hankering for it and you are not total in the act. Your mind is looking towards orgasm: you are thinking about whether you are going to make it this time or not and that fear paralyses the sex centre.
The sex centre can only open really when there is no fear, when there is no question of any result, when one is not thinking of any future, when the activity is not goal-oriented, when one is simply playing. It is beautiful to play with somebody's body and have somebody play with your body. Just two bodies dancing, singing, hugging, caressing is a beautiful symphony, there is no need to think about orgasm. And then it will happen! This is the beauty of it -- then it will happen. But whether it happens or not is irrelevant. Simply forget about it.
For three months forget about orgasm. It will happen many times but even if it does, don't feel that you have it, so you have made it this time. Don't think before, don't think after; it is irrelevant. And after three months report to me.
Things will settle. It is this idea of orgasm that is creating the whole problem: when it doesn't happen, you feel frustrated, you feel as if you are unloving, you feel you are unloved, you feel you cannot find a right partner. Then you become angry and your whole energy starts becoming violent and aggressive. It is the same energy: if it becomes orgasm, it relaxes; if it doesn't become orgasm, it becomes tense.
In tension, anger functions almost like orgasm. It is anti-orgasm. It is the opposite polarity: it is hate orgasm. As the ordinary orgasm is a love orgasm, anger is a hate orgasm. One can get into such a rage that one can feel really great release; it comes out of violence. So violence and sex are very deeply related. If people are really sexual they are less violent; if they are not sexual they are violent.
That's why sex has never been allowed in armies: to keep people violent. If they have their girlfriends they will not be so violent. They have to be kept very angry, in a rage, their energy boiling and with no way for it to be expressed in a human way; they become inhuman. And all the weapons -- the sword, the knife, the bullet -- are nothing but sexual organs, projected, trying to enter the other's body. One can really feel an orgasm when one kills; that is the appeal of murder. There have been cases on record where a man has killed the woman while making love. He was trying to make double orgasms together, mm? a greater peak. While making love with one orgasm happening, he killed or strangled the woman. He was trying to manage both ends together: a love orgasm and a hate orgasm.
For three months just enjoy love. The orgasm will take care of itself and things will change. After three months you report to me, but for three months, really forget. I don't see any problem... Good!
-Osho, “Don't Bite My Finger, Look Where I'm Pointing, #27”