Question 4

At what point can catharsis be dropped?

 

 

It drops itself when it is finished. You need not drop it. By and by you will feel there is no energy in it. By and by you will feel that you are doing catharsis but they are empty gestures, the energy is not there -- in fact, you are pretending to do it, acting it; it is not happening. Whenever you feel that it is not happening and you have to force it, it has already dropped. You just have to listen to your heart.

 

When you are angry, how do you know when the anger has disappeared? When you are sexual, how do you know that the sexuality has gone? Because the energy from the thought is no longer there. The thought may remain, but the energy is no longer there; it is an empty thing. You were angry a few minutes before: now, your face may be still a little angry, but deep down you know now there is no anger, the energy has moved.

 

In fact, you have been angry at your child: you cannot smile, otherwise the child will misunderstand you, so you are pretending that you are still angry; but you would like to laugh now and you would like to bring the child near you, kiss the child, love the child. But you are still pretending. Otherwise the whole point will be lost -- your anger -- and the child will start laughing, and he will think it was nothing. You are pretending, just the face, but deep down the energy has moved.

 

The same will happen in catharsis. You are doing catharsis; it is an energy phenomenon. Many emotions are suppressed -- they are uncoiling, they are coming up, bubbling up. Then there is much energy. You are screaming -- there is energy. And after the screaming you feel relieved, as if a burden has disappeared. You feel weightless; you feel more at ease, calmed down, slowed down. But if there is no suppressed emotion, then you can do the gesture -- after the gesture you will feel tired, because you were unnecessarily wasting the energy. There was no suppressed emotion, nothing was coming up, and you were unnecessarily jumping and screaming; you will feel tired.

 

If the catharsis is true, you will feel rejuvenated after it; if the catharsis is false, you will feel tired. If the catharsis was true, you will feel very, very alive after it, younger than before, as if a few years have disappeared -- you were thirty, now you are twenty-eight or twenty-five. A load has disappeared -- you are younger, livelier, fresher. But if you are just making the gesture, you will feel tired -- you were thirty: you will feel thirty-five, old.

 

You have to watch. Nobody else can tell what is happening within you. You have to be a watcher. Continuously watch what is happening. Don't go on pretending -- because catharsis is not the goal; it is just a means. One day it has to drop. Don't go on carrying it. It is just like a boat, a ferry boat: you cross the stream and then you forget about it; you don't carry it on your head.

 

Buddha used to tell a story again and again that once it happened, five fools crossed a river. Then they pondered over the matter because their boat had helped them so much. It was rainy season and the river was flooded and it was almost impossible to cross it without the help of the boat, so they said, "This boat has been so beneficial that how can we leave it here? We should show our respect and gratitude." So they carried the boat on their head in the marketplace. People asked, "What are you doing?" They said, "This boat has helped us so much, how can we leave it now? We will carry it our whole life. Even then the gratitude will not be enough. This boat has saved our lives."

 

Buddha used to say, "Don't be foolish like those five fools." Religion is a boat; life is the goal. Religion is the boat; ecstasy is the goal. All methods are methods, remember -- don't forget that.

 

No method should become the goal. The whole of Patanjali has to be dropped one day because it is all methodology. And when the whole of Patanjali has been dropped then suddenly you will discover a Lao Tzu hidden behind -- he is the goal. The goal is to be.

 

The goal is not to do anything; the goal is to be. All methods are to do something, they help to bring you home, but when you enter the home you forget about the cart that brought you or the donkey on which you came or the boat. All methods drop outside: you have reached home.

 

Remember, catharsis can become your obsession. You can go on doing it, and then it can become a rut, a pattern. It is not to be made a pattern. Watch, when it is needed, go on watching. By and by you will become aware -- it is a very subtle awareness because the phenomenon is very subtle -- that now there is no energy: you scream but really the scream is not coming, you jump but you have to make effort. Then allow it to be dropped; don't carry the boat.

 

At what point can catharsis be dropped? It drops itself. You simply remain alert and watch it. And when it wants to drop, don't cling to it; let it be dropped.

 

-Osho, "Yoga: The Alpha and the Omega, Vol 5, #10, Q4"