Divorce

 

Question 11

Osho,

What do you say about divorce?
 

Some great philosopher said about divorce -- I forget the philosopher's name, in fact I forget what he said -- but I say divorce is useless. You get married for lack of judgment, get divorced for lack of patience, then you remarry for lack of memory.

In fact marriage is wrong. Once marriage disappears from the world, divorce will disappear of its own accord! I am against divorce -- I want divorce to disappear from the world absolutely; but the only way to do it is to destroy marriage completely.

 

-Osho, "Walking in Zen, Sitting in Zen, #15, Q11"

 

⯎

 

It is a very strange thing that the society, the law, glues people in marriages so quickly, but if they want to be unglued it is a long process: great paperwork, great delay. In many countries it is not possible at all. In many countries you first have to live two years in separation – it is not divorce. You are still married, but you have to live separately as a proof. In some countries you have to prove that your man has been unfaithful to you, or your woman has been unfaithful to you – ugly demands.

 

Nobody asks anything when two people are trying to be glued together. Everybody is happy and congratulating them. But when they want to separate, nobody is willing – everybody is condemning them. They themselves are feeling guilty, that what they are doing is not good. Very few people are courageous enough not to bother about respectability. Otherwise many are only living together, cellmates but no longer soul mates.

 

I have seen people living together for years, and they are not even talking to each other. But just for respectability they don’t want to divorce for their children’s sake, for their prestige in society.

 

In a more psychologically understanding society, marriage will be very difficult and divorce will be very easy. Every hindrance should be created when two people want to get married because they are getting into trouble. They should be given two years of living together, and then come back to the registry office. Most probably nobody will come back.

 

But if somebody wants a divorce, both parties should not be needed to appear before the judge. One party simply says, “I want to separate.” That’s enough. Whether the other party wants it or not is immaterial. There is no need to provide a reason why they want to separate. It is their personal and private life, and no law, no court, no society has any right to interfere in it.

 

They wanted to be together – they were together. Now they don’t want to be together and they are simply informing you, that’s all. They are not asking your permission, because who are you? Why should they ask anybody’s permission? It is just information, so that you know that they are no longer together; so in your register you can change their marriage status. They are not “divorced people,” they are simply again unmarried people.

 

The word divorce is ugly. The woman is no longer married, she is again a “Miss.” The man is again unmarried – not divorced. Why carry the past? Let them be completely free so they can renew their life. If a man is understanding enough, one marriage will do – for one lifetime at least. And if one marriage cannot drive you toward enlightenment, that means something is wrong with you. You are either retarded or simply incapable of learning from experiences.

 

-Osho, “The Rebel, #27“

 

⯎

 

An old couple reached the divorce court. they were really ancient, ninety-five years old, and they had been married for seventy-five years. the judge could not believe his eyes. he said, “so you are thinking of divorce now, after seventy-five years of married life? why now?”

they looked at each other, and then the old man said, “well, we waited till all the children were dead.”

 

-Osho, "The Book of Wisdom, #4, Q2"