Relativity

 

 

It is a very simple theory: If you are sitting on a hot stove, one minute will feel like one hour. It depends how hot the stove is. The hotter the stove, the longer the time will appear. If you are sitting with your girlfriend, one hour will feel like one minute – the juicier the girlfriend, the shorter the time.

 

In short, the theory of relativity is that time is elastic. If you are in misery, time will pass very slowly. If you are joyous, time will pass fast.

 

-Osho, "The Rebel, #27"

 

 

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Question 3

Osho,

What is the theory of relativity?

 

 

I am not a physicist, I am not a scientist. But I can tell you two stories that will show what the theory of relativity is: I am a story-teller.

 

I have heard that when Hitler came to inspect one of the concentration camps and the inmates were standing at attention, he was interested to get an idea of their weight. He picked out three, and scales were brought. The first turned out to be five kilos, the second seven kilos and the last eleven kilos, upon which Hitler responded, "There's a chubby one!"

 

This is what the theory of relativity is. No statement in itself has any meaning; it has meaning only in context and contrast with some other statement.

 

The theory of relativity is a very complicated thing. It is said that while Albert Einstein was alive, only twelve persons in the world were able to understand it. Even Albert Einstein, when asked what it was, used to feel very puzzled -- how to say what it is? He himself used to give examples. He used to give this example, that if you are sitting on a hot stove, one minute will look like one hour; and if you are sitting with your girlfriend, one hour looks like one minute.

 

A man who was frightened of dentists delayed seeing one until he only had six teeth left in his mouth.

 

The dentist examined him and said, "These teeth are finished. Let me pull them out. Let me do root canal work and all those other things I do, and you'll have a complete new set of choppers in your mouth. Beautiful you'll look, and chewing problems you'll no longer have."

 

The man was dubious. "I'm a physical coward, Doctor. I can't stand pain."

 

"Who said anything about pain? I'm a painless dentist!"

 

"You say it, but how do I know if it's true?"

 

"Not to worry," the dentist said. "I did a job exactly like this for another man. I'll give you his name and you can phone him right now. Ask if I caused him any pain."

 

So the man telephoned George Kaplan in Brooklyn.

 

"Mr. Kaplan," he said, "my name is Al Goldstein. You don't know me, but I'm in the office of your dentist and he says he did a big job on your teeth. Is that correct?"

 

"Correct it is," Kaplan agreed.

 

"Okay," said Goldstein. "Now I want you to tell me the honest truth. Did it hurt? Tell me, yes or no?"

 

"A yes or no I can't give you," said Kaplan. "But I can give you a fr'instance. Every Sunday I go rowing in Prospect Park."

 

"So?" said Goldstein.

 

"So," said Kaplan, "our dentist finished with me in December. Now it's June and it's Sunday, and as usual I'm in my rowboat on the Prospect Park lake. Suddenly, one of the oars slips away. When I reach over to grab it, my balls get caught in the oarlock. Would you believe it, Mr. Goldstein, it was the first time in six months that my teeth didn't hurt!"

 

That's what the theory of relativity is.

 

-Osho, "Unio Mystica, Vol 2, #8, Q3"