Will

 

 

A man has to be synthesis of will and surrender. A man has to grow his willpower, his ego, first. My approach is: that if life is going to be for an average of seventy years, then thirty-five years, the beginning of life, should be devoted to strengthening the ego and willpower. And one should listen to Nietzsche, and one should listen to Steiner, and one should listen to Freud -- and the ego has to be strengthened, made VERY integrated.

 

And after the thirty-fifth year one has to learn relaxing, dropping the ego, and becoming more and more surrendered to the divine. The west is the first part of life; the east is the second part of life. Life should start like western and should end like eastern. One should first go into he world; in the world, will will be needed. One should go and fight and struggle, because struggle gives you sharpness intelligence. But one should not continue fighting and fighting to the very end. Then what is the point?

 

Fight, sharpen your intelligence, know the ways of the world, wander all over the world, be a conqueror, and then... then move inwards. You have known the outside; now try to know the inner.

 

And to know the inner one has to relax. One has to forget anxiety, anguish, tension. One has to be non-competitive; will is not needed. To conquer the world will is needed; to conquer God will is not needed. To conquer God means to be conquered by God; to conquer God means to relax and surrender unto his feet.

 

Now this will seem very difficult, very illogical. I am an illogical person. My understanding is this: that only strong egos can surrender; weak egos cannot surrender.

 

Every day I come across weak egos. Whenever a weak ego comes, he hesitates: to surrender or not to surrender, to take sannyas or not to take sannyas. And why is he afraid? He is afraid because he knows he has a very weak ego; if he surrenders he is gone. He will not be able to stand. He is afraid of his inner weakness. He pretends on the outside, but he knows his inner reality -- that he is ready. So he becomes defensive; he defends.

 

Whenever a person of strong egos comes he says, `Okay, let us see. Let us try this too.' He knows, he is confident enough that even if he goes into some unknown path, he can still protect himself. And if he decides to come back, he can come back; he has enough trust, enough self-confidence. He has enough will.

 

Remember, surrender is the last and the greatest act of will. Surrender is not a cheap and easy thing. It is not something that because you cannot stand you surrender; because you were already falling you say, `Okay, I surrender' -- because you were not able to stand on your feet.

 

Surrender is not impotence. Surrender is not out of impotence, it is out of tremendous power.

 

You have lived the ways of the will and you have found nothing. You have looked into all the possibilities of the ego and you have only suffered; it simply hurts. Then you decide, `Now let us try the ultimate: dropping of the ego.'

 

To drop the ego you will need a great will -- otherwise it is not easy to drop the ego. It is the greatest act in the world, the last. Only very courageous people can do it. [....]

 

I am not against sin; I am not against anything. I say: Use everything, go into it. God has made this whole world available to you for a certain purpose: the purpose is learning. Sin is a lesson, is a must. If a child is a saint from the very childhood, is forced to be saint, he will not have any spine. Let him first know what sin is. Let him himself become aware, and let him drop it on his own accord. Don't force him, don't discipline him. Give him freedom to move so one day he can see with his own eyes, feel with his own heart. And he can realize that Buddha is right, that Kabir is right, that Christ is right.

 

But this has to come from your own understanding -- otherwise it is borrowed. And God never wants anybody second-hand. Be first-hand. Let your experience be original.

 

So that is what I am to say to you: will and surrender have to become part of your life, together -- because you are man and woman together, and you are east and west together. The world is one, the earth is one village. All distinctions are just utilitarian, not real.

 

What is east and what is west? And what is surrender and what is will? They are both part of the one wave. They are not two, they are a quantum, one; two aspects of the one thing, one phenomenon.

 

So grow in will, and don't be afraid. Become a strong egoist, don't be afraid. Let it hurt, let it become a self-torture, let it become a cancer in your soul -- then one day you drop it. And that dropping is out of your own feeling, your own experience. The it is beautiful.

 

There is a danger; I must make you beware of it. The danger is that rather than coming to a synthesis, we may change roles -- the east may become west and the west may become east. That is more possible. Seeing the stupidity of human beings, that seems more possible.

 

-Osho, "The Path of Love, #6, Q1"