X-Rays
Nobody can say anything about you. Whatsoever people say is about themselves. But you become very shaky, because you are still clinging to a false center. That false center depends on others, so you are always looking to what people are saying about you. And you are always following other people, you are always trying to satisfy them. You are always trying to be respectable. You are always trying to decorate your ego. This is suicidal.
Rather than being disturbed by what others say, you should start looking inside yourself. To know the real Self is not so cheap. But people are always hankering for cheap things.
It happened:
When the pain in Mulla Nasrudin's back became unbearable, he reluctantly went to a specialist to diagnose his problem.
"Well," said the doctor, "your problem can be cured by an operation, two weeks in the hospital and six months totally horizontal."
"Doctor, I can't afford the cost of all that!" shouted Nasrudin.
"Well then, for twenty-five rupees I can retouch the X-ray," suggested the doctor.
This is cheap! -- retouch the X-ray -- but that is not going to make you healthy. That's what we are doing: continuously retouching the X-ray, and thinking that somehow the miracle will happen. When you are decorating your ego you are retouching the X-ray. That is not going to help in any way; it is not going to help you become healthy. But it is cheaper: no operation is needed; at no cost. But what is the point? Your misery remains.
You become respectable and your misery remains. You become highly praised by the society -- your misery remains. You are decorated by medals, gold medals -- Padma Bhushan, Victoria Cross -- but your misery remains. These gold medals are not going to destroy your misery: they are like retouching the X-ray. All decoration on the ego, for the ego, is nothing but deceiving yourself.
And continuously you go on becoming weaker and weaker and weaker -- because the ego goes on becoming weaker every day. Your body will become weaker, your mind will become weaker, and by and by the ego that you have created out of the body and mind combination will become weaker. Fear will become greater and greater; you will be continuously sitting on a volcano that can any day explode. It will not allow you rest. It will not allow you relaxation. It will not allow you any moments of peace.
Once you understand it then the whole energy is put into another direction. One has to know oneself. One has not to be worried about what others say about you.
-Osho, "A Sudden Clash of Thunder, #5"