• With fear, hate, jealousy-anything whatsoever- don’t create a problem out of it. Accept it, allow it, pass through it, and you will defeat all suffering.
    - Osho

open all | close all

oshofriends




 

Osho TalksKey IssuesSubject Index

Osho HealingThe EsotericOsho Dictionary

 

 

oshofriends

 

 

 

Love

 

 

The most difficult thing in life is to accept love. When somebody says, "I love you," listen. Whether you say it or not, somewhere inside you there is a no -- because you cannot accept the idea that you are worth loving, that anybody can love you. He must be cheating you, he must be deceiving you; he must have some ends in his mind. He wants to exploit you.

 

No woman believes it when you tell her, "I love you." She thinks, "This man is trying to exploit my body. He wants to use me as an object." She is reluctant, she creates every kind of barrier; she rejects, she withdraws. These are her ways to test whether you really love her. She will create every kind of objection to your love and will wait and will see whether your love is still alive. Unless she is convinced totally that you love her, she will not accept your love. And even then that acceptance is only superficial; soon she will start nagging you, soon she will start taking revenge, soon she will be fighting with you.

 

And the same is true about men -- even more so. That's why no~woman ever says to any man, "I love you." She never initiates the process, because to tell any man, "I love you," means danger. He will escape, he will escape immediately! The woman only withdraws, but she does not withdraw totally; she withdraws only so far. She remains in a way available. Even if she says no she says it in such a beautiful way that you feel there is a possibility of yes.

 

One day I saw Nasruddin very happy and I asked, "What is the matter?"

He said, "The woman I love has said to me that 'This is the last time I am saying no!'"

 

The man thinks that a woman's no means yes. Somewhere, the way she says it... the word is no, but it carries the meaning of yes. She withdraws only so far that she remains within your reach. But man really becomes afraid, very much afraid.

 

Man is a weaker sex. This is my categorical statement: man is a weaker sex. The woman is a far stronger sex. Nature has made her more strong. She has to be more strong to give birth to children, to carry the child for nine months in the womb. She has a more resistant body, she lives longer than man, she is more healthy than man. More men commit suicide, almost double the number of women. Although women talk about suicide -- sometimes they even take pills, but always in such a way that they can be saved. Out of ten attempted suicides only one succeeds, and that I also think by some mistake! But twice as many men commit suicide in comparison to women, and also double the number of men go mad in comparison to women.

 

Man is a very much weaker sex. He has no resistance: he falls ill more, he lives less -- five years less than women... So the moment a woman says, "I love you," he becomes very much afraid.

 

One sannyasin has asked, "Why is it that whenever a woman approaches me I become frightened and scared?" k is not an individual, personal problem. Every man becomes afraid when a woman approaches him. That's why women all over the world have decided not to approach men, never to initiate anything -- wait. The woman functions like a mousetrap: she simply waits for the mouse to come in. And the mouse comes! He will go round and round, make a few circles, look here and there, watch, come a little closer and see whether there is any danger or not... and then, slowly slowly, he will be caught.

 

And then the woman can always say, "I was never after you!" And she has always been after you. That mousetrap was watching, looking where the mouse is going, what he is doing, how far he is. But the woman remains very detached, aloof; that is part of her feminine beauty and attraction. If she jumps upon you, you will escape! Just think of a mousetrap running after a mouse -- do you think it will ever catch any mouse? Impossible! The mouse will run into its hole and will never come out!

 

-Osho, "Theologia Mystica, #14"

 
 
 
TAG •

Osho Dictionary

A Spiritual Dictionary for the Here and Now

List of Articles
No. Category Subject
1031 A Absolute : A man of truth is always relative.
1030 A Abstinence : You can be a celibate, but to be a celibate does not mean to go beyond sexuality.
1029 A Abstractions : Because you can't love human beings you start loving humanity just to deceive yourself. Avoid abstractions.
1028 A Absurd : The absurd is nothing but another name of God
1027 A Absurdity : Collect as many absurdities in your life as possible.
1026 A Accept yourself : Accept yourself as you are, and accept totally, unconditionally. That is the way God wants you to be
1025 A Accept Yourself : This is the first step of Unio Mystica: be one with yourself.
1024 A Acceptance : Accepting is another name for Let Go
1023 A Acceptance : If somebody hits you, bow down your head, accept it with gratitude.
1022 A Accidental : Become a little more conscious. See what is happening.
1021 A Accidents : Consciousness can be, and without content. So that accident was a blessing.
1020 A Accidents : life goes ahead and your mind is past-oriented
1019 A Acharya : He knows exactly what he’s teaching, but not on his own authority.
1018 A Act : You will create a chain of reactions and you will get into karma.
1017 A Acting : The really spiritual person transforms his whole life into an acting.
1016 A Action : You have to use action to attain non-action.
1015 A Action and Activity : Action is when the situation demands it, you act, you respond. Activity is when the situation doesn't matter, it is not a response
1014 A Active Meditation : All traditional methods have become irrelevant.
1013 A Activity : Action is not activity; activity is not action.
1012 A Activity : Activity has utility, action is pure joy, pure beauty.
1011 A Acupuncture : Acupuncture deals with the cause. Never deal with the effect
1010 A Adam's Apple : Adam became knowledgeable, hence the fall. So knowledge is the fall.
1009 A Adam's Apple : I am against all kinds of enforced things.
1008 A Admiration : One wants to be admired because one has no respect for oneself.
1007 A Adultery : The real meaning of adultery is making love while you are not in love.
1006 A Advaita : Advaita means not two
1005 A Advaita : Existence Is Advaita
1004 A Advertising : It hypnotized you.
1003 A Advice : Listen, but don’t follow.
1002 A Ageing (Aging) : You are just pure consciousness
1001 A Aging : Change beautifies everything.
1000 A Ah : Ah, this cake is delicious
999 A AIDS : Perversion requires the basic condition that you are fed up with changing women, you want something new.
998 A Alchemy : How to change the negative into the positive
997 A Alcohol : Nothing but a chemical strategy to forget your miseries, anxieties, your problems, to forget yourself.
996 A Alertness : If you are alert, if your actions become more and more aware
995 A Alienation : He is an uprooted tree. He has forgotten how to relate with existence
994 A Alone : The person who is not able to be alone cannot be together with somebody, because he has no individuality.
993 A Aloneness : Rejoicing in Your Own Aloneness
992 A Aloneness : We are born alone, we live alone, and we die alone
991 A Ambition : Nothing kills love more than Ambitiousness
990 A Ambition : The result of an inferiority complex
989 A Ambition : The root cause
988 A Amen : It simply means "Yes, Lord, yes. Let thy will be done.
987 A Analysis : The beauty is something more, hence in analysis it disappears.
986 A Androgyny : Where your man and woman inside meet and mingle and disappear into each other.
985 A Angels : You are simply creating belief systems to cling to.
984 A Anger : Anger is just a mental vomit.
983 A Anger : If anger rages within, shout, cry, jump, talk, babble, do whatever you please
982 A Anguish : Anguish is, in short, the quest of who you are.
981 A Anguish : God is not responsible for your stupidity. It is your own work.
980 A Anguish : The anguish of not knowing oneself
979 A Answer : To Be Questionless is the Answer
978 A Anti Christ : The people who established Christianity, they are the Antichrist.
977 A Apology : We don't try to reform ourselves, we only try to reform our image.
976 A Art : If it leads you towards God, it is true art, it is authentic art.
975 A Art : To be a painter, you have to drop the ego
974 A Art, Objective : Objective art means something that helps you to become centered
973 A Asleep : Man is asleep – man lives in a deep slumber
972 A Assertion (Assertive) : Everybody has to be assertive, not aggressive.
971 A Astrology : Astrology is an investigation into the possibility that whatever is happening anywhere in the universe also affects man.
970 A Astrology : The Science of Cosmic Oneness
969 A Atheism : Just as the theists are blind, so are the atheists. Both are believers.
968 A Attachment : Attachment means clinging to something, wanting it the way it is forever.
967 A Attention : If you pay much attention to suffering, you help it to grow. If you pay much attention to happiness, you help it to grow.
966 A Aum : The primordial sound of which the whole universe consists
965 A Aum : The symbol of the seventh body
964 A Austerity : Austerity does not mean torture; austerity means a simple life, an austere life.
963 A Authenticity : To be authentic means to be true to oneself.
962 A Authoritative : Authoritarian People are suffering from Inferiority Complex
961 A Autohypnosis : You create illnesses! You believe in them.
960 A Average : You will drop your averageness. It is just forced on you.
959 A Avoidance : The harder you try to avoid it, the more focused you become on it.
958 A Awareness : The Seed of Godliness in You
957 B Babies : All babies are beautiful, but all grown-ups are not beautiful.
956 B Bachelorhood : she was also looking for a perfect husband!
955 B Baggage : On the highest peaks, one has to be weightless.
954 B Balance : Witnessing brings balance.
953 B Bardo : Between These Two Dreams
952 B Beauty : The deeper you become, the more beautiful you are.
951 B Beggars : The meeting of a world conqueror with a beggar
950 B Beginners : The Zen person always keeps the beginner's mind
949 B Behaviorism : He lives in such cowardly ways, he is so afraid of anything new.
948 B Belief : The believer is not a seeker.
947 B Betrayal : There is only one betrayal: and that is to betray one's own life.
946 B Bibles : People become interested only when they are almost in their graves.
945 B Biography : After Self-Knowledge there Is No Autobiography
944 B Birthdays : One is never born and never dies; both are illusions.
943 B Bitterness : We are bitter because we are not what we should be.
942 B Black hole : Black hole is like Buddha’s concept of emptiness
941 B Blame : The whole responsibility is yours, don't blame anybody
940 B Blindness : Don't carry the books
939 B Bliss : Bliss needs great courage
938 B Bliss : Blissfulness is our birthright
937 B Body : The body has a great wisdom in it.
936 B Boiling Point : They don't have intensity. They live only so-so, lukewarm
935 B Books : Beware of knowledge. It is so cheap to become knowledgeable.
934 B Boredom : A Buddha is not bored, A Jesus is not bored
933 B Boredom : Boredom comes out of insensitivity.
Board Pagination Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 Next
/ 11