Love is Therapy
Question 1
Osho,
While in therapy myself, i spent much time praying. over the years i felt better. i never knew whether it was the therapy or the prayer. as a therapist i want to urge others to pray but feel embarrassed.
Love is therapy, and there is no other therapy in the world except love. It is always love that heals, because love makes you whole. Love makes you feel welcome in the world. Love makes you a part of existence; it destroys alienation. Then you are no more an outsider here, but utterly needed. Love makes you feel needed, and to be needed is the greatest need. Nothing else can fulfill that great need.
Unless you feel that you are contributing something to existence, unless you feel that without you the existence would be a little less, that you would be missed, that you are irreplaceable, you will not feel healthy and whole.
And prayer is the highest form of love. If love is the flower, then prayer is the fragrance. Love is visible, prayer is invisible. Love is between one person and another person, prayer is between one impersonal presence and the impersonal presence of the whole. Love is limited, prayer is unlimited.
If you can pray, no other therapy is needed.
Therapies are needed in the world because prayer has disappeared. Man was never in need of therapy when prayer was alive, flowing, when people were dancing in great gratitude, singing songs in praise of God, were ecstatic just for being, for being here, were grateful just for life. When tears were flowing from their eyes – of love, of joy – and when there were songs in their hearts, there was no need for therapy.
Therapy is a modern need, a poor substitute for prayer. Psychoanalysis is a poor substitute for religion, very poor. But when you cannot get the best, then you settle for second-best or the third-best, or whatsoever is available. Because temples have become rotten, churches have become political, religion has been contaminated by the priests, man is left alone, uncared for, with nobody to support him.
The very ground on which he has been standing for centuries has disappeared. He is falling in an abyss, feeling uprooted. Psychoanalysis comes as a substitute: it gives you a little bit of rooting, it gives you a little bit of ground to hold onto, but it is nothing compared to prayer. Because the psychoanalyst himself is in need, he himself is as ill as the patient, there is not much difference between the psychoanalyst and the patient. If there is any difference, that difference is of knowledge – and that makes no difference at all. It is not a difference of being.
If there is any difference it is quantitative, it is not that of quality, and quantity does not make much difference. The psychoanalyst and his patient are both in the same boat. In the o]d days there was a different kind of person moving in the world, the religious person – the Buddha, the Christ. His very presence was healing. Because he was healed and whole, his wholeness was contagious. Just as diseases are contagious, so is health.
Just as illnesses can be caught from others, so can you catch something of the healing energy from the other. But for that, the psychoanalyst will not be of much help. He may help a little bit to solve your problems intellectually. He may find out the causes of your problems – and when you know the cause you feel a little better, you are not in ignorance – but just by knowing the cause nothing is helped.
You are suffering: the psychoanalyst will show that you are suffering because of your mother, because of your upbringing, because of your childhood. It makes you feel a little good: so it is not you who is the cause, it is the mother. Or, there is always something else you can put blame on. Psychoanalysis shifts the responsibility, makes you feel a little weightless, unburdened, but the problem is not solved. Just by knowing the cause, the cause does not disappear.
Religion has a totally different orientation: it does not shift the blame on others. In fact, it makes you feel responsible for the first time in your life. Hence, psychoanalysis is a kind of bribery; it is a kind of lubricant. It is a kind of help in your ego; strengthening your ego, throwing the blame on others. It is a very dangerous game because once you start throwing the blame on others you will never be transformed, because you will never feel responsible. This is one of the greatest calamities that has happened to this age.
Marx says that it is the society that is responsible for all the ills that you are suffering. You are not responsible: it is the class-divided society, it is the economic structure. Freud says it is not the economic structure but the conditioning that has been given to you by the parents, by the society, by education, by the priest, by the church. It is the conditioning: that's why you are suffering; you are not responsible.
This is the old game. In the past it was called the 'game of fate': fate is responsible, you are not responsible. This is the same game played with new names and new labels, but the trick is that you are not responsible. Of course, one feels a little bit happier, but nothing changes. Sooner or later that happiness disappears because the cause remains where it was, the wound remains. How does it matter who has wounded you? Just by knowing that your mother has wounded you -- or your father or the society or the church -- how does it matter? The wound is there, full of pus, growing, becoming bigger every day. You can feel a Little bit good for the moment, unburdened: so you are not responsible, you are just a victim. You can sympathize with yourself. You can feel pity for yourself and you can feel anger for others, for those who have created the wound, but this is not a way of transformation: the wound is there and the wound will continue to grow. The wound does not bother about what you think about it; your thinking makes no difference to the wound.
Religion is a totally different approach: it makes you feel responsible. It is against your ego. It says, "It is you! It is your responsibility to have chosen a certain pattern of life. All patterns were available, no pattern has been imposed on you." Buddha was born in the same society in which others suffered, suffered hell, and he attained here-and-now the ultimate state of bliss, so society cannot be responsible. Christ was born in the same society in which Judas was born, in which everybody else was born, but he attained to God.
Religion makes you feel responsible AND free. Freedom and responsibility are two aspects of the same coin. If you are not ready to feel responsible, you will never be free. You will remain in bondage, in the bondage of others.
Psychoanalysis makes you feel in bondage; it can't really help. Prayer makes you free. Prayer means religion. Prayer means: you are responsible, you have chosen a certain way of life. Now there is no need to make much fuss about it. If you don't like it, drop it! It is up to you, it is ABSOLUTELY up to you. And you can drop it in a single moment of awareness. That's what SATORI is, SAMADHI is: dropping the whole nonsense in a single moment of understanding. Seeing the point that "I am carrying it, and if I don't want, there is no need to carry it; nobody can force it on me -- no fate, no society, no church", it can be dropped. Your inner essence remains free of your personality. Personality is just like clothing: you can drop it, you can be naked any moment.
Your essence can be naked any moment. And when the essence is naked, you are healed -- because the essence knows no illness. The essence is always in the state of health, in the state of wholeness.
Prayer is the ultimate way of dropping all personalities -- Christian, Hindu, Jain, Buddhist, Indian, German, English. Prayer is the way to put aside the whole paraphernalia of personality and just to be, pure, innocent. In that purity and innocence one starts bowing down. You may not believe in God; there is no need to believe in God. A believer is not a religious person either. But when you are utterly nude in your essence, when you have dropped all clothing -- you have dropped all that has been given to you, you have disconnected yourself from the learned, from all that you have learned, the taught, the cultivated -- suddenly you are in your pristine clarity, as you were before your birth. Your original face is there. It is as fresh as dewdrops in the early morning, as shiny as the stars in the night, with all the grandeur of the flowers and the trees, and with all the simplicity and innocence of children, animals, birds. In that moment you feel so joyous. Out of joy you bow down -- not to a God, remember; there is no need to believe in a God. You simply bow down out of gratitude. There is no object in your bowing: you simply bow down because... to see such infinite joy showering on you for no reason at all... and you are not worthy! You don't deserve it! You have never earned it! How can you remain without giving a heartful thank-you to existence? Your head bows down, you surrender. You lie down on the earth in utter silence, your heart throbbing, pulsating with ecstasy. Your breathing has a different rhythm to it, a different melody to it. Your whole energy is dancing, streaming. You have fallen in harmony with existence. This is what I call prayer -- not that which is going on in the churches and the temples: that is parrot-like, it is formal. It has nothing to do with real prayer. And this prayer heals, this prayer is real therapy.
Sadananda, you are right. This question arising in you is of tremendous significance: whether you have been healed by therapy or by prayer?
You have been healed by prayer. Therapy has not helped anybody. At the most, therapy can make you adjusted to the society. Prayer helps you to fall in tune with existence itself. Society is man-made, its values are man-made, hence they are different everywhere. In India there are different values, in the West there are different values. Something that is perfectly okay in the West is absolutely wrong in the East, and vice versa. These values are man-created.
You live in a society; you have to adjust to the society. Psychotherapy is in the service of the society you live in. When you start going out of the society, you start becoming a little rebellious, the society pounces on you and declares you ill. This is an ancient trick, one of the most dangerous tricks that the society has played on you: whenever you are not falling in line with the society, the society starts condemning you. In the past it used to call you 'sinners', and then it prepared hells for you. Now, that language is out of date: it calls you 'sick', 'mentally sick', 'a mental case' That is a new condemnation.
In Soviet Russia, whenever somebody differs from communism, has his own ideas about life, existence, society, he is immediately declared a psychopath, a mental case. Once he is declared a mental case, now society is able to manipulate him. You can give him electric shocks, insulin shocks, drugs. You can force him to live in a mental asylum. And all that he has done is: he has done a little bit of thinking. His sin is that he was not obedient to the established order of the society; he was disobedient. Unless the society forces him back, gives him a mind-wash, forces him to fall in line, he will be kept in a hospital and will be treated as an ill man. This is very humiliating, degrading, dehumanizing, but that's what has been done all over the world, more or less.
Whenever a person is different from you, wants to live a different life, wants to be free from the bondage you have created in the name of the society, you declare him mad. Jesus was declared neurotic, Mansoor was declared mad, Socrates was declared dangerous to the youth of the society: "Kill them now!" Now the society can kill them without any prick of conscience. In fact, the society is doing the right thing: first condemn somebody, put a label on him; if you kill somebody without putting a label on him, you will feel guilty; to avoid guilt declare him mad, and then it is so easy to kill, so easy to destroy. Now we have the technology too -- to destroy the mind, to give the mind a complete brainwash, and to force the man to say yes to the established order, whatsoever it is: communist, capitalist, fascist.
Therapy, the so-called therapy, is in the service of the established society. It is in the service of death, of the past.
Prayer serves nobody. Prayer is freedom. Prayer is a way to commune with the whole, and to commune with the whole is to be holy.
You say, "While in therapy myself, I spent much time praying. Over the years I felt better. I never knew whether it was the therapy or the prayer."
It was CERTAINLY prayer.
"As a therapist I want to urge others to pray but feel embarrassed."
I can understand, Sadananda. Prayer has become a dirty word. To talk about prayer is embarrassing. To talk about God is embarrassing: people think that you are a little bit eccentric, crazy or something, but don't be afraid. Drop this embarrassment, gather courage. Talk about prayer -- not only talk about prayer, fall into prayer when the patient is with you. Let the patient feel the climate of prayer.
Once Jesus' disciples asked him, "What is prayer?" He simply knelt down, started praying, with tears coming from his eyes. His eyes raised towards heaven, and he started talking to his Father -- which is just a symbol. He started calling, 'Abba'. He created the climate: that is the only way to show what prayer is, there is no other way.
If somebody asks, "What is love?", be loving. Hug him, hold his hand, let your love flow towards him. That is the only way to say what love is. This is the only way to define the indefinable.
Fall in prayer while you are helping your patient. Just kneel down. The first time the patient may feel strange, a little weird -- "What is happening?" -- because he has come with a certain idea that he would have to lie down on the Freudian couch and he would talk all kinds of nonsense, and the psychoanalyst would listen very attentively, as if he is delivering a gospel or a revelation. He has come with certain expectations; he will not be able to believe what is happening. But if prayer is there it is bound to have effects: it is such a potential force. Whenever there is one person praying, he creates a vibe of prayer around himself. And patients particularly are very sensitive people -- that's why they have become patients. Remember it! They are more intelligent than the common lot, hence they are ill! The common lot is so insensitive, so dull, so thick-skinned. It goes on carrying all kinds of nonsenses without being disturbed by them. It goes on living this so-called, meaningless life without ever becoming aware of its meaninglessness, its utter stupidity and absurdity. Remember always that the patient is a person who is more sensitive than the common lot, more alert, has more heart to feel. Hence he finds it difficult to adjust to the society.
The society exists for the lowest because it exists for the mass, the mob, the crowd. The society is a herd-phenomenon. Whenever there is somebody who is a little more intelligent, has a slightly higher I.Q., has some more potential for love and for poetry, he will feel a little maladjusted. He will not feel at home. Seeing the beggar on the street, he will suffer; seeing all kinds of exploitations going on, he will suffer; seeing the state of humanity and its degradation, he will suffer -- and all this will become too much. He will start cracking underneath this burden.
Remember that the patient is more intelligent, more sensitive, more vulnerable. Hence he is a patient. If you create the climate of prayer around him, maybe the first time he will think you a little weird, but don't be worried. Everybody knows that psychoanalysts are a little weird.
I have heard....
"I got insomnia real bad," complained a psychotherapist to his physician.
"Insomnia," said the doctor, "is insomnia. How bad can it be? What do you mean, 'real bad insomnia'?"
"Well," said the psychotherapist. "I got it real bad. I can't even sleep when it is time to get up!"
Or this story:
A young doctor who was studying to be a psychoanalyst approached his professor and asked for a special appointment. When they were alone in the professor's office, the young man revealed that he had had a considerable amount of trouble with some of his patients. It seemed that in response to his questions. these patients offered replies which he could not quite understand.
"Well," said the older man, "suppose you ask me some of these questions."
"Why, certainly," agreed the young doctor. "The first one is, what is it that wears a skirt and from whose lips comes pleasure?"
"Why," said the professor, "that's easy. A Scotsman blowing a bagpipe."
"Right," said the young doctor. "Now the second question. What is it that has smooth curves and at unexpected moments becomes uncontrollable?"
The older doctor thought for a moment, and then said, "Aha! I don't think that's too difficult to answer. It's a major league baseball pitcher."
"Right," said the young man. "Now, Professor, would you mind telling me what you think about two arms slipped around your shoulders?"
"A football tackle," replied the professor.
"Right again," said the young doctor. "But you would be surprised at the silly answers I keep getting."
So, Sadananda, don't be worried. You can pray, you can go into prayer. The first time, maybe the patient will think you a little eccentric. And in orange, and with the mala -- you are eccentric! Don't be worried! You are allowed to do anything once you are a sannyasin. This is a certificate.
But if you can create a climate of prayer, soon you will find the patient participating with you. He may feel, for the first time, something of the unknown and the beyond. And if he can again feel something of the unknown, his life will start having meaning, significance. If he can have a little contact with the transcendental, just a little contact, his life will never be the same again. Just a little opening into the beyond, a little window, and the light coming in and the sky and the clouds and the stars -- just a little window and you have transformed his whole being.
Use your therapy too; but the real help will come from prayer. Use therapy as a stepping-stone to prayer.
- Osho, "The Secret of Secrets, Vol 2, #2, Q1"