[A sannyasin, who is leaving, refers to a letter she had written earlier: I asked if I could have a baby and you said I could. Then I began to think that Osho is putting a responsibility on me and was I ready for it.]
If you can avoid it that is very good. When people ask, they create trouble for me. If I say no then it feels as if I am hurting your motherhood. If I say yes then certainly there are going to be troubles and responsibilities and you may get into a mess. The best thing is to remain alone a little longer. First finish your work upon yourself. When you have come to a certain state where you know now nothing can disturb you, then it is perfectly good to have children. Then you will be able to help them also: you will be really mothering them.
Right now you yourself need mothering and you will be simply giving them all the diseases that you're carrying. One psychoanalyst has called the disease that parents give to children 'NDD' -- neurosis, disease, depression. That's what people are going to give. You don't have anything else to give! Wait, you can wait it will be far better.
[She adds: Doctors say I sbouldn't have a baby because of my epilepsy... because the child may carry the epilepsy.]
Mm mm, that is just a possibility; that is not much... epilepsy is not hereditary, no. That is not the big problem; but neurosis and all the confusion of your mind, that is the problem. You will be bringing up the child and you will pour all that you have into the child. First, become a little more blissful. And you are on the right track; things are happening. You are moving into it slowly, step by step. You will become very very cheerful; just a little patience is needed.
Epilepsy is not that much of a problem. If you can really love the child without possessiveness, if you can give the child total freedom without neglecting him, if you can understand that the child comes through you but does not belong to you -- that it is God's gift -- if you can be respectful to the child, then it is perfectly good... no problem.
But if you can wait a little it is good. If I say no then people feel hurt; if I say yes they start feeling that I am putting some responsibility on them. They don't leave any alternative for me.
If you leave an alternative for me then I will say no, wait two, three years more; there is no hurry. Either the desire will disappear, that is the best thing, or if the desire persists, by that time you will be ready, mm?
- Osho, "The Open Secret, #16"