I can give you back Only from your innocent childhood, and only from there a real inquiry into truth begins. Only from there religion is possible; otherwise you can only talk about religion.
♦
A small boy gave the following summary of his Sunday school lesson:
“There were these Jews who had broken out of a prison camp in Egypt. They ran and ran until they came to a wide lake. The prison guards were closing in so the Jews jumped into the water and swam out to some boats that were waiting for them. The guards got in submarines and tried to torpedo the boats, but the Jews set off depth charges and blew up all the submarines and made it safe to the other side. Everybody called the Admiral by his first name, Moses.”
The boy’s father asked, “Son are you certain that is what your teacher told you?”
“Dad,” responded the boy, “if you can’t believe my story, you would never believe the one the teacher told.”
Now, telling children stupid stories you are not helping the to become religious; on the contrary, you are helping them to become anti-religious. When they grow up they will know that all those religious doctrines were fairy-tales.
Your God. your Jesus Christ, all will turn into Santa Claus later on in the child’s mind — deceptions, fables, to keep children occupied. And once the children know that what you have been telling them as absolute truth is just lies and nothing else, you have destroyed something very valuable in their being. They will never become interested in religion at all.
My own observation is that the world is becoming more and more irreligious because of religious teaching. No child should be taught any religious doctrine.
Yes, when you are praying, let the child be present there. When you are dancing, let the child be present there. And the child will soon join you — how can the child resist joining a dance? Let the child know that life has grace in it; let the child know that life is not only suffering but much ecstasy too. Let the child know that laughter is good, divine, that love is good, godly.
And these things are not to be taught: they have to be imbibed by the child. You have to create the vibe. And then sooner or later the child will start becoming aware of many more things which cannot be seen just by the physical eyes. Because you will have given him more sensitivity. Otherwise you can go on teaching him, and nobody even remembers. How much do you remember that was taught to you? Nobody even remembers; everything is thrown in the garbage.
Three Italians were driving fast on the expressway when their car collided with a truck and they were instantly killed. Finding themselves at heaven’s door, they knocked and God answered. “What do you want?” God asked.
“We want to come in,” they replied.
God said, “Before you can enter you must answer a question.” He pointed to one Italian and said, “You, Vito, tell me, what is Easter about?”
Vito paused, then with an Italian accent answered, “Thatsa when there are lotsa parades alla over America! Fireworks are shot at night and the people go ona picnics. Itsa celebrated in July.”
“Sorry, Vito,” God said, “but you must go to hell.”
Pointing at Pietro, God said, “You, Pietro, tell me what Easter is about?”
Pietro smiled and replied, “I know, God, thatsa when some time ina November the family gathers together and eatsa turkey, pumpkin pie, potatoes….”
“Sorry, Pietro,” God said, “you must go to hell.”
Looking at Giuseppe, God said, “You, Giuseppe, you have been an altar boy for ten years. You go to church every Sunday. You tell me what Easter is about.”
Giuseppe replied, “Thatsa when the people who did not like your poor son and what he said hung him upa on a cross. For three hours your son he hang there before he died. Thena his mother and friends, they take him down from the cross, wrap his body up and put the body in a cave and they roll a huge stone in front of the cave. For three days your son was in the cave and on the third day he wakes up from the dead, rolls back the stone, goes out of the cave. Hea no seea his shadow, so he goes back in for sixa more months.”
You can go on teaching… nobody is listening. Children are helpless; they have to go to the Sunday school, so they go. They have to listen, so they listen — but they are not there. And later on they say and they know that all that was just nonsense. They may not say, but they know certainly that that was all nonsense.
Maria, this is not the way to help the world become more religious. This is the way we have tried for centuries — and we have failed. Instead of the earth becoming more religious, it has become more and more irreligious every day. As the teaching has spread, as there have been more and more missionaries and more and more teachers and more and more people indoctrinating others, the world has turned more and more irreligious — not only irreligious but anti-religious too.
It is time to understand that something IS basically wrong. This is not the way to teach religion; religion can only be caught and not taught. Yes, it happens with a Jesus, because Jesus creates the space where it can happen.
A disciple once asked Jesus, “What is prayer?”
Do you know what he did? He simply fell on his knees and started praying; tears started rolling down his cheeks. This is creating a space. Now he is creating PRAYER itself! What is the need to say anything?
Seeing it, the disciple fell on his knees — for the first time he felt the tremendous beauty of surrender, and a great joy in feeling grateful to God. Tears started flowing down his cheeks too. They were both crying — in joy, in gratitude.
Finally, Jesus asked him, “Now do you know what prayer is.”
And he nodded; he said, “Yes, Master. Now I know what prayer is.”
This is the way to teach. Not giving theoretical answers, not giving absurd, outdated, metaphysical doctrines, which may have looked relevant one day, but now they look simply stupid. Now say to a child that God created the world just four thousand and four years before Jesus Christ, and the child will smile at you. And the child knows that “Either you are befooling me, or you are in utter ignorance.”
THE WORLD HAS EXISTED for millions of years. In fact.there has never been a beginning. God is not the creator in reality but the creativity. To say to a child that God finished the world in six days and then rested on the seventh day because he was tired — now, that means that since then he has not bothered about us at all.
A man went to his tailor and asked him, “How long is it going to take for my suit to be ready? You have been promising it already for six weeks, and you say again and again, ‘Come again, come again…’ And do you know? — God created the world in only six days? And in six weeks you have not been able to even create my suit.”
And do you know what the tailor said? The tailor said, “Yes, I know — and look at the world, then look at my suit, and you will see the difference. The world is in a mess. This is what happens when you create something in six days.”
- Osho, "The Fish in the Sea is Not thirsty, #5, Q3"
♦
When the Eisenbergs moved to Rome, little Hymie came home from his school in tears. He explained to his mother that the nuns were always asking these Catholic questions and how was he, a nice Jewish boy, supposed to know the answers?
Mrs. Eisenberg’s heart swelled with maternal sympathy. “Hymie,” she said, “I’m going to embroider the answers on the inside of your shirt, and you just look down and read them the next time those nuns pick on you.”
“Thanks Mum,” said Hymie, and he didn’t bat an eye when Sister Michele asked him who was the world’s most famous virgin. “Mary,” he answered.
“Very good,” said the nun. “And who was her husband?”
“Joseph,” answered the boy.
“I see you have been studying. Now, can you tell me the name of their son?”
“Sure,” said Hymie, “Calvin Klein.”
♦
Little Ernie was getting very tired of the long sermon at the church. In a loud whisper he asked his mother, “If we give him the money now, will he let us go out?”